 Photo by Ksenia Chernaya "To be honest with yourself is to gain knowledge into who you really are." ~ Unknown I remember it so well. I certainly knew better, but I went for it anyways. The last day of school is always very emotional for me but silly me I just HAD to start the “goodbye/ you have meant so much to me” speech with my class. Well, I got about as far as “You have been an amazing class, and I am extremely proud of all of you.” After that the tears started flowing and I could barely continue, especially when I saw some students also crying. Well, I did what I had to do then to get by and that was to put my prescription glasses up on my head, so I did not have to witness their sad expressions. This is a little trick I have learned to help me through some difficult and emotional times. I first used this handy technique when I had to sing at my high school graduation. As it too was emotional for me, the fact that I could face a sea of blurred, expressionless faces gave me the help I needed to sing with gusto. Somehow the way I saw it is when you can’t really see it, you can endure it. Well, I did finally get a hold of myself at school after sending out some emergency texts for prayer and we actually did have a nice last day despite the tears. I was grateful that the year had been so incredible that the emotion was there, as it was a testament to the good times we had had and all the great memories we shared.  Sometimes seeing things clearly can be too painful. Although the blurred vision technique worked for me that day, in life we need to face our issues clearly to make true progress. This is often not as easy as it sounds. When I would do substance abuse counselling with my clients, we talked a lot about denial when it comes to our problems. Denial can be broken down to “Don’t– Even - Notice - I – Am – Lying.” Sometimes we become too comfortable with looking the other way pretending issues don’t exist in our lives. That can only continue for so long without consequences as eventually important issues need to be addressed. I would often see this with alcoholic clients who had convinced themselves that becoming social drinkers was their goal. The thought of giving alcohol up altogether was just too painful for them, so only drinking "socially" was a nice compromise, or so they thought. A recipe for disaster is more like it, but they must realize that on their own to overcome it.  Photo by Alexas Fotos Every day is a new day. A new beginning waits for us each day. What do your eyes see as your strengths and your struggles? We all have them. What can you start today to activate change in your life and initiate positive steps? For each one of us it is different. Well the summer is upon me, and I can see clearly the school year I have left behind. It is good to do some honest reflection with no blurred vision. I am both ready for a change and a rest, yet grateful for all the positive things that have taken place. Feel free to email me ([email protected]) about what you are working on. I would love to pray with you or cheer you on to victory! Remember you can't change what you don't acknowledge. ~ Until next time, Dana Romans 12: 1-2 (The Message Bible) So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. Little Lesson Learned: Looking closely at a situation that needs changing can be scary, but it is the first step to positive change. © 2024, 2nd edition, 1st edition, 2015, Blurred Vision littlelessonslearnedbydana
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 Photo by Ashford Marx Life is a journey, not a destination. It has its share of ups and downs no matter who we are. Some experiences bring us joy. Others bring sorrow, and others at times leave us wondering what can be the lesson in all of this? As a child I remember my parents trying to make the most mundane tasks “fun.” Doing the dishes, cleaning a very messy room, studying for tests or practicing the piano could be “fun” if you had the right mindset I was assured. Sometimes I bought into what they were saying, yet other times I was not so convinced. I remember an incident where I set up patterning centers in my classroom. I worked hard to prepare engaging activities where the kids could “show what they know” in a hands-on, creative way. The students were on task and thoroughly enjoyed rotating through the various centers. All finished products of the centers were great assessment pieces for me, and it was cool because as they thought they were just having fun; great learning was also happening. One little guy who had perhaps been a bit skeptical before we started, proudly announced at the end “That was a lot more funner than I first thought!” It brought a smile to my face, as I thought of times in my life that I had felt the same as he did!  Photo by Karolina Kaboompic When I was in university, I was desperate for a summer job. I had my mom call friends of ours, the Romualdi family (Hmm... can you guess where this is going?) and ask if they needed a cashier at their family-owned grocery store. To my dismay they did not, but Mr. Romualdi replied that they DID need a housekeeper. (Can you hear me laughing already?) He assured her it was just part-time, but his wife would work with me. When my mom proposed this idea to me, I looked at her like she was crazy and immediately asked “Have you seen my room lately? I am clearly not cut out to be ANYBODY’s maid! NO WAY!” My mom calmly replied, “This is a lovely family and Mrs. Romualdi is so nice. She will work with you and let’s be honest here, you have no other job prospects right now. (OUCH!) Why don’t you give it a try and the worst thing that happens if it is not for you, then you can quit. So, what do you think?” Much as I hated to admit it, my mom made a lot of sense. I couldn’t help but dread the thought of being someone’s housekeeper though. I kept thinking sarcastically, Oh this is going to be lots of fun! Give me a break! Well, the first day actually went very well, and so did all the other days after that because just as my mom had said Mrs. Romualdi was a wonderful, friendly and very kind woman. She did not see me as “hired help,” but as a new and valued friend who was worth getting to know. We took more breaks than we worked and she always rounded my paychecks up meaning if I worked one hour and five minutes, she would always say “Here is a paycheck for an hour and a half.” For many reasons I liked her from the get-go and I had to admit that this was a much more “funner,” experience than I had anticipated to my great surprise. The icing on the cake was when her friendly, single and very handsome son Phil came home for lunch one day and my life in general got a lot more “funner,” as he became my boyfriend and eventually my husband. Who knew? Not I, as I had written this opportunity off from the start. I felt uninterested, unqualified and uncomfortable with even giving it a try. I am so glad I did though, as my life changed for the better in ways I could not even have imagined. Phil and I have often chatted about what if I had never come to work for his mom? Would we have ever met? Who knows? Often, I have used this as an example to others to try something new, take a risk, or step out of their comfort zones as people never really know what could be waiting for them on the other side. As a kid growing up, we would often go to King’s Island amusement park in Cincinnati, Ohio in the summer. I had always been petrified of roller coasters up until that point, yet one summer for whatever reason, I mustered up the courage to ride a coaster for the first time named of all things: The Beast. The name alone should have sent me packing, yet despite my terror at the time, I ended up riding that bad boy several times with pleasure. I thoroughly enjoyed it and I knew my love of thrill seeking rides had only just begun. A more” funner” experience than I had imagined indeed once again.  Photo by Anna Tarazevich New opportunities present themselves every day. Some feel comfortable and safe and others can push our boundaries. No one likes feeling vulnerable. No one wants to look foolish. No one wants to look like a rookie at something, yet we all have to start somewhere. Trust me. I know, and even the most famous success stories had their first day at some point. It has been said that life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it. We cannot control what comes our way, but we can control our reactions. Perspective and an open mind are so important in life. Like me, you may be skeptical about a potential opportunity that has presented itself. There is always something to be learned and what we learn may surprise us in the end. With God at our side also it is always reassuring to know that we are never alone. He will always guide us and be our help in times of both comfort and stress. So what “fun,” have you been avoiding? Humour me if you will because you may just be robbing yourself of a huge blessing, an exciting adventure, new friendships or an unexpected advancement that you did not even see coming. Prayerfully consider each opportunity that comes your way and have an open heart and mind. Where you think saying “no,” is a no brainer, a “yes,” may be just the response you need to make your whole life in general a lot more “funner” and truly meaningful. Until next time, ~ Dana Proverbs 3: 5-6 ~ Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Little Lesson Learned: You may be surprised about what can actually be fun and beneficial to your life if you keep an open mind. 
Tags: perspective, positive attitude, growth mindsetCopyright: © 2024 littlelessonslearnedbydana, 2nd edition, 2015 first edition (The More Funner Experience")
 Photo by RDNE Stock project "Confidence isn't walking into a room with your nose in the air, and thinking you are better than anyone else. It's walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone in the first place." @LifehackI recall a situation years ago when my then teenage son came along with me to do some errands. As a teenage boy, I am sure it was the "thrill of his life" to run errands with his dear old mom, but to add insult to injury on the list of things to pick up with the bottled water and toilet paper was yes wait for it people … a new bathing suit for me! Ugh! Just thinking about this upcoming purchase was causing me great stress and believe me it had nothing to do with my son coming along. I debated about postponing the bathing suit ordeal, yet I knew my son is cool about that sort of thing, so I went for it. I am a blessed woman because not only did he not object, but he even gave his opinion on the various suits I tried on. I would say I have a son who is an excellent sport and off to a great start of being a compassionate and patient husband one day!  Photo by Pixabay Well ladies, I am sure I am not alone in my feelings here. It is not a fun experience to try on bathing suits at my age I can tell you. After two kids, three abdominal surgeries and being in my mid-fifties, what often looks huge on the rack, seems to magically shrink in the change room. Tell me I am not alone here ladies! I find myself almost every time behind closed doors mortified trying to squish my body into what seems like the swimsuits from hell. Then to make matters worse, I have the "pleasure" of viewing myself from every angle with the full body mirrors. Oh, that’s lots of fun, I tell ya! I usually feel like the judges from American Idol with each and every one. You know the standard line “Ah, it’s a NO from me!” Funny though, by some divine miracle I did end up finding not one, but two suits that actually looked decent on me, so I did what any self-respecting woman of my age would do. I bought them both because at my age, you just never know when you will find another suit that looks good on you again. True story!  Photo by SHVETS production There is so much pressure all around us for women to look good. We fuss over our hair, our weight, our skin and our wardrobe just to name a few. This list goes on and on. I remember even when I was in my early 20’s about to be married, I put great pressure on myself in this area. Weighing about 125 lbs, and in great physical shape, I drank Slimfast shakes faithfully to hopefully shed a few unwanted pounds before the “big day.” In hindsight I see how unnecessary that was for me at that life stage, but at the time I could not see it. In university, I participated in a psychology study that left a lasting impact on me. To say it was an eye-opener was an understatement. When I arrived for the assignment, the grad student was flustered and clearly unprepared for me. She apologetically asked me to take a seat and encouraged me to look at some fashion magazines while she got ready. In a few minutes she announced that she was ready. She asked me if I felt that I had any body image, self-esteem, or weight issues. I answered “absolutely not,” as I clearly did not really feel I had any of those. She then had me stand in front of a screen and I am not sure how she did it, but just like those crazy fun house mirrors, she morphed my image to look as flat as a pancake. It was very humorous, as I looked like a paper doll. Flat Stanley had NOTHING on me. She then instructed that as she had obviously made me very paper thin, she would gradually morph my image to what I really looked like. I was instructed to tell her to stop when she reached the “real me, “ in my opinion, which I did. Next, she did the opposite. She started with a very obese version of myself that was very difficult to witness and kept making me smaller. Too bad that did not exist in real life! I was instructed to tell her to stop when I thought she reached what I would feel would be my "ideal" weight. It was to be the me on the screen where I would feel beautiful and satisfied, and so I did. That was it and then we sat down to talk. What she proceeded to tell me next has impacted me ever since. First of all, she said the magazine viewing was not to fill time, but a planned part of the experiment. It was to fill my head with what society deemed as "beautiful." Next, she said that what I perceived as the “real me” was about 30-40 lbs over my real weight and my “ideal” me would be very anorexic if that was actually me. I was shocked because for someone who did not think I had any body image issues, this was a very enlightening experience. Often, I have shared this encounter to make people aware of the fact that even when we think we are not affected by the world’s view of beauty, we sadly often are.  Photo by JavierCapturesTheWorld Even young girls feel this pressure to look a certain way. I teach eight-year-old students. I remember doing a lesson on new year’s resolutions. We discussed many options for them to consider of what would be a good new year's goal for someone their age and I can assure you that weight loss was not one of them. When each was asked to share individually what goal he or she had selected as the most important, one little girl said her goal was to "lose weight." It broke my heart that at that age that was the most important new year’s resolution she could come up with. I jumped in and explained as children are always growing and changing, it would be more appropriate to say as a goal, “I would like to become more physically fit.” She was content with that, and it made we feel better as eight years of age is just too young to be fixated on a weight issue. The Bible says that “man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” ( 1 Samuel 16:7) We can be so hard on ourselves as women and people in general. It is not wrong to want to look nice, but when too much emphasis is put in this area, great problems can result. Focusing on our inner qualities is just as important, yet we often fail to realize this. Inner beauty is in God’s opinion what he truly values. God looks at us through a loving father’s eyes. He does not see a flawed, mediocre person, who is unworthy of love and acceptance as he or she is. Instead, he sees a unique and amazing person that he created with a calling and specific purpose. He looks down and says “That’s my kid!” I love what author Max Lucado says. He says “If God had a refrigerator your picture would be on it. If he had a wallet, your picture would be in it." Face it friend he’s absolutely crazy about you!” Every one of us is so unique and special. We need to stop looking at the world’s measure and standard of beauty and look at what God says about us. He cares so deeply for each one of us and longs to have a relationship with each one of us. He desires a friendship with us, to love on us and reveal his unique will for each of our lives. See yourself the way you were meant to be seen, as the truly special and beautiful person you are. Don’t look at the photoshopped versions of perfection, because you like all of us, will always fall short. Focus on who you are, not on who you are not. We all have room for improvement, yet we all have amazing qualities too. Next time you look in the mirror, let it truly sink in that you are incredible and that the world has become a much brighter place simply because you are in it! Self improvement strategies are wonderful, but let’s not lose sight of who we really are. Here’s to the beautiful person you are no matter what you are wearing, even though I know you are going to ROCK that bathing suit! Until next time, ~ Dana Psalms 18:19 NCV - Because he delights in me, he saved me. Little Lesson Learned: See yourself the way God does. You’re perfect through his eyes of love!
Tags: self esteem, self worth, see yourself in God's eyes, you are valuableCopyright: © 2024 littlelessonslearnedbydana, 2nd edition, 2014 first edition (Bathing Suit Season)
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