 Photo by Emma Bauso at Pexels.com “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times and always with the same person.” Mignon McLaughlin My husband Phil and I celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary this year. It is hard to believe, as the time has really flown by! I remember how I first met Phil. I was on summer break from university, desperate for a job and feeling—let’s just say—very lonely. "Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places" could have been my theme song at that time, sadly, I guess. I asked my mom to approach friends of ours, the Romualdi family, to see if I could get a job at their grocery store for the summer. Unfortunately, they did not need summer help, but I was offered—at first, much to my dismay—the job of their housekeeper. My initial reaction was an absolute “no,” as this was not the type of work I had in mind. After some convincing, my mom got me to give it a try, as she knew the family well and knew that it would be a very positive and pleasant experience with Mrs. Romualdi working right alongside me. Well, it did end up being a great job. They had a gorgeous home on the lake, and working alongside Mrs. Romualdi, I grew to appreciate and love her dearly. We took many breaks, had great, long chats, and she ALWAYS gave me the more pleasant housekeeping duties—as this is just the type of person she was. Well, to make a long story short, her son Phil came up often in our many conversations, and one day he came home for lunch while I was working. I guess the rest is history. We hit it off right away. Not only was he incredibly handsome, but he had a wisdom beyond his years, a strong desire to settle down, and a very sweet and sensitive nature I was immediately drawn to. It was like that feeling of I have known you all my life, “yet where have you been all my life?” all at the same time! Phil was such a breath of fresh air. He lived right down the street from me, but it took me what seemed like an eternity to find him. I am so glad I did, and I know that it was clearly God’s timing and plan for us to meet and marry.  Photo by HT Photography So this brings me to where I am today, reflecting on 33 years of marriage. We have sure had our ups and downs. I am not an authority on what makes a marriage thrive. Our marriage is not perfect, but in 33 years of marriage, I have certainly learned a thing or two. Some lessons came easy, and others were learned the hard way. Nonetheless, here are my tips on what I have learned throughout the years that helped us to keep our marriage strong. 1. Love your spouse and remember to prioritize him or her Photo by Little Lessons Learned by Dana I have always felt loved and valued by Phil. He encourages me daily through his words and actions. He is my biggest fan. Besides writing, I love to sing. He has sat through more concerts of mine than I can count and will clap with gusto, like he has never heard that song before each time. That is something I have always appreciated. Phil and I are intentional with our time and put dates on the calendar for just the two of us. Our adult children are still at home at this time. We are blessed to have them, but must ensure that we get time for just the two of us as well. That is healthy and necessary for any marriage to thrive. 2. Strive to bring out the best in each other Photo by: Little Lessons Learned by Dana I have often told Phil that he is the wind beneath my wings, and I really feel that. Phil and I are a great team. In some ways, we are quite opposite, but I think that is why our marriage works. Phil has helped me grow in areas I struggle and has taught me many things, and I feel that I have done the same for him. It was Phil’s idea that I become a teacher, which I am today. It was not of interest to me originally, as I am a social worker, and at the time I was quite content working at our local library. Phil kept revisiting that notion of me teaching, seeing the potential I could have to use my skill set and really help kids in a powerful and meaningful way. His encouragement and belief in me gave me the courage to leave a profession I enjoyed and head off to teacher’s college on a new and uncertain path. This has been a very positive move for me, and I know I would not be where I am today without Phil’s support. Listen to each other's heart and be that sounding board and encourager that is needed. It makes such a difference for your relationship. This world is hard enough already. Be that soft place to land for each other. 3. Stick together through the tough times Photo by Little Lessons Learned by Dana We have been through many challenges as a couple, like our family business, Phil’s Leamington Foods, being forced to close; several miscarriages; unemployment; deaths in the family of close loved ones; and many career changes. It has not been easy, but through it all, with God at the center of our relationship, we have made it through. Phil has listened to me endlessly talk about heartaches, stressful situations, uncertain scenarios, and depressing topics. Through our struggles, we have offered each other a listening ear, good advice, a kick in the pants if needed, while providing reassurance that neither of us is going anywhere—no matter what we go through. A true test of marriage is how it stands during the tough times, and it is these tough times that can really make your marriage stronger if you allow it. 4. Have the deep conversations Photo by Little Lessons Learned by Dana Sometimes certain topics can feel awkward in your marriage to address, but nothing good comes from avoiding these conversations. There have been many times when both Phil and I had to share our hearts, knowing it would initially hurt the other, but still believing it was necessary. Without honesty, resentment can grow. Without honesty, misunderstanding can exist. Without honesty, a dangerous wedge can begin to grow in your relationship. You do not want these things to happen in your marriage. This is why it is so healthy to clear the air and know what is on each other's heart to keep your relationship moving forward. 5. Keep God at the center of your relationship Photo by Little Lessons Learned by Dana This simple statement will help you immensely. We have built our marriage on our relationship with God. He is at the center of all we do individually and as a couple. Phil and I have devotions together, attend church together, and pray with and for each other daily. When a challenge comes up in our lives, we ask God to give us strength and wisdom to handle things in a way that honours Him. Life is hard, and every marriage can have highs and lows. Knowing that our marriage is built on the firm foundation of Christ has brought us such hope and reassurance through the years. If this is not a part of your marriage at present, I urge you to invite God into your relationship and see what happens. You will be so very glad you did, I can assure you. You then realize that you are no longer alone as a couple, but instead have every issue covered by the Lord Almighty. How empowering is that? Every marriage has room for improvement, including mine. Consider this call to action. Call to Action
Until next time, Dana Copyright: littlelessonslearnedbydana, © 2025
Tags: marriage, marriage enrichment, 5 love languages, date your spouse, pray together as a couple, date nights, communication, Christian marriage, honesty, perseverance, marriage advice, relationship tips, how to strengthen your marriage, Christian marriage tips, long-lasting marriage, marriage lessons
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