Five Special Ways To Honour Lost Loved Ones

September 30th marks the two year anniversary of losing my beautiful mom. Grief is such a complicated emotion. Certain days I am handling it well, and then something comes that will trigger a memory, and my  grief feels fresh and raw all over again.

This is totally normal. You never "get over" losing someone you love. You just somehow through God's grace learn to manage your loss. Losing a loved one leaves a huge hole in your daily life, as the void you now must live with can at times completely overwhelm you.

I have learned some strategies and have been involved in some healing activities that have helped me honour my mom as a walk through my grief.

Perhaps you are grieving someone as well at the moment. Here are some suggestions on how to keep his or her memory alive and  let that very special person's legacy live on.

1. Talk about them often

Mom on a beloved "Mrs. Lear Friday."

Please talk about your loved one as often as you need to. If you have people in your circle who find your conversation about your lost loved one awkward or uncomfortable, find people who don't. Gravitate towards others who are great listeners and/ or who are also on their own grief journeys. They are "your people" right now. These fine folks will help you on this difficult road.

Writing my blog has also been such a source of healing for me as I include memories of mom and life lessons she taught me very often.

2. Organize events to remember them

Here is my brother Matt, at our special sibling breakfast time to honour Mom.

On the first anniversary of my mom's passing, we started a tradition of going to a favourite restaurant as a family with my siblings, their families and my dad. We had a bonfire after and shared many sweet memories of mom.

​We continue this tradition today. Mom loved to eat out with friends. She was very sociable. She cherished these special times with others. We honour her by participating in what she loved.  

You are my Sunshine cards. They turned out so cute!

To keep my mom's memory alive in my classroom, I planned a "You are My Sunshine" party with my students.

Mom had a huge collection of "You are my Sunshine" items that she had accumulated over the years. She was literally sunshine in human form, and she would always sing this song to us as kids.

I explained to my students that my Mom was always doing kind things for others, so in her name, I was doing something kind for them.

I encouraged them to keep the kindness going, and one of the activities at the party was to make a card for others letting them know how much they were loved and valued. It was a big success and a great time was had by all.

3. Recognize people who were important to them

Sunshine Treats for a special staff.

My mom was a faithful volunteer at my workplace, Queen Elizabeth Public School. She LOVED the staff and the staff LOVED her.

On her Mrs. Lear "Fridays" she would go door to door in the school hallways sharing her humour, kindness and friendly conversation with all she met. She was just like that and everyone was drawn to her.

On a professional development day, I had special baked goods brought in that were lovingly prepared by a dear colleague of mine for the staff to enjoy.

It was my way of remembering Mom and thanking my great coworkers for the love and kindness they had shown to Mom all throughout the years as well.

​It brought me great comfort to bring them a little "sunshine" on that September day.

4. Donate to their favourite charity in their name

Mom's favourite charity was an organization called Sleeping Children Around the World. This charity gives bedkits to children in impoverished countries so they can have a comfortable and safe place to sleep.

As an extended family, we purchased several bedkits in Mom's name. What makes this charity very special is they take a picture of the recipient of the bed kit with a plaque with Mom's name on it and send it to us.

​The charity also wrote me a handwritten note extending their condolences on Mom's passing, sharing what a faithful supporter she was of SCAW in the past. That was very special. 

5. Live your best life 

Your special person you are missing would not want you to live the rest of your life in sorrow. I am not suggesting in any way that you do not take time to properly grieve.

You must and need to do that, but don't stay there. Your loved one would not want you to live in black clothes acting like YOUR life is over all the time. He or she would want the opposite for you.

Don't stop living because your loved one did. Live on with passion and make him or her a part of all you do. They are always with you in spirit and in your heart and that is something no one can ever take from you.

I have always had a special heart for people who are grieving. I wrote a book entitled Magic Kisses on that very subject. If you are interested in purchasing it, feel free to click on the picture below to order it.

These simple ways to honour Mom have brought me such comfort. I hope that if you are grieving right now, you can find meaningful ways to honour your special person as well. Feel free to use one of my ideas if it feels right for you.

Until next time,
Dana

P.S. Miss you Mom! I will live my whole life to love God and people the way you did!

Psalms 34:18 ~ The Lord is close to the broken hearted. He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

Little Lessons Learned: Those we love are never really gone, because they live forever in our hearts. 

Author

​Dana Romualdi is a Canadian elementary teacher, blogger, author, and speaker. Dana desires to "love God and love people" whole heartedly. She has a passion for helping others and spreading much needed encouragement. Dana lives in Canada with her husband and two grown children. When she is not working in the classroom or blogging, she enjoys drinking coffee, watching Netflix and reading great books.

Tags: grief and loss, honouring lost lost ones, comfort, legacies, loss of mother, processing grief

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