Tags: conversation, words, compliments, words of affirmation, 5 love languages, self-talk, God's love, choose your words, positivity
"Our words have power. They impact others but they also impact us."
~ Michael Hyatt
Words have such power. They have the power to heal, encourage, motivate, and comfort. On the flipside, they also have the power to discourage, offend and destroy a person as well. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that words are "just words," and they don’t mean anything. There is nothing further from the truth! I always had a hard time with the quote “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I thought who is the misinformed, disconnected person who coined that silly phrase? Words can hurt very deeply, and people can carry the wound from them for years, if they are not addressed properly.
I have experienced situations where someone’s kind words have touched my heart so deeply, that the words that were spoken will resonate in my heart forever. I have also had snide remarks or criticism made to me that have had a lasting, negative impact on me, for years.
On my Facebook page, (Little Lessons Learned by Dana) we are discussing the
5 Love Languages as discussed by author, Gary Chapman. If you are not on my page, I encourage you to get on Facebook and "like" the page as it is a very fascinating topic. The five love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch and receiving gifts. Everyone has a primary love language. When we understand what that is for ourselves and our loved ones, and we do more actions that validate that love language, our special people feel very loved by us. We are currently discussing words of affirmation on my page. Words of affirmation are more than just telling someone you love him or her. It is letting people know how proud you are of them, giving compliments and sharing uplifting, positive, heartfelt statements to enhance their self worth and make them feel valued. We need so much more of that these days. Don’t even get me started on this one! There is so much negativity out there, it is truly sad. When we hear of positive situations, stories and uplifting words, it is the breath of fresh air, and change in conversation we need right now. It is not enough to think things that are complimentary and positive about people. We need to vocalize them. I have heard people say things like my husband KNOWS I love him. I don’t need to say it, or my mom KNOWS that she is important to me. I don’t need to say it. I would challenge that and say you DO need to say it, because we all need to hear positive statements about ourselves. Sometimes it could be the exact thing that that person needs to bring him or her a little bit of hope, or a smile that day. Let’s unpack together how words could be affecting you in three, important and profound ways. How’s Your Self-Talk? ~Words About Yourself
What words are you using to describe yourself at present? Have you thought about that recently? I have heard people so easily say about themselves comments such as: “I am so fat” or “I am so lazy.” “I am so unorganized” or “I am so clumsy.” You get the idea. The same people often have a very hard time saying anything positive about themselves, or even accepting a compliment. Be aware of the negative self- talk and put an end to it. You can be your own best friend or worst enemy. Choose wisely!
If there is something you are working to change about yourself, acknowledge it, phrase it in a more appropriate fashion, and follow it up with an action. For instance, if you are struggling with weight loss, tell yourself I am not the weight I want to be, but I am working hard through healthy choices and exercise to get where I need to be. Another example could be saying I have struggles with organization, but if I focus on organizing one area at a time, I can do it. We ALL have areas we need to grow in. Acknowledge them and articulate how you will address them in a positive and productive fashion. He Said, She Said: Words from Others About You
Many people have blessed me with their gift of positive and kind words. I can think of many occasions when there were tears in my eyes and my heart was full from kind words said to me. Why is it though that even if many people say so many kind things to me, I may choose to focus on the negative comment I got?
Can you relate? I remember a blog I wrote years ago that got great feedback from others, however one reader did not agree with the person I quoted at the beginning of my blog. He felt that that person had no business being quoted on a Christian blog and he was both offended and shocked. Truth be told, I had not researched the life story of that person, so it was a good reminder, but I let that comment rattle me so much. I questioned my judgement about my entire blog, and was so worried about who else I had perhaps offended. I am growing in this area, and I know I must learn to take the good with the bad. When any of us gets criticism, we need to learn to accept it and ask what we can learn from it? Sometimes it has nothing to do with us and is more a reflection of a broken person lashing out and as they say, “hurt people, hurt people.” I am learning to extend more grace to those people because we really don’t always know their story. Why is it also even when we have created a wonderful life for ourselves as adults, we can’t forget the damaging things that have been said to us as children from someone we trusted? Why do we give those words power anymore? You are not those negative things that people said you are in your past. You are an incredible, interesting, beautiful, and valuable person. You are worth getting to know, have much to add to this world and bring something to the table that no one else can. If someone has hurt you deeply in the past, I challenge you to do the work and forgive that person for his or her hurtful ways. You are punishing yourself by holding onto the inconsiderate comments. This is difficult to do, but so liberating in the end. See yourself the way God does. He looks at you through pure love. The Father Speaks: Words About You From God
God is crazy about you. He is totally obsessed with you, to such an extreme that He even knows the number of hairs on your head! Of all His creation, you my friend are his absolute favourite. The Bible says that He knew you before you were born, and His word says he has written your name in the palm of His hand. That is how important you are! You are chosen, loved and precious. There is no one that could ever take your place, and there is nothing you can do to ever lose God’s favour. You are that valuable and special to him.
I get really worked up about this topic because I have made it my personal mission to change the dialogue and atmosphere wherever I can. I want to radiate positivity and assist people to see their inherent value, maximize their potential and step into all they have been created to be. In closing, decide to focus on positive words about yourself, dwell on the positive feedback you have received from others, and rest in the unconditional favour and acceptance of God. Trust me this is a beautiful place to be! Let’s hang out there together. I’ll bring the coffee. Until next time, ~ Dana Ephesians 2:10 ( NLT) ~ For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things that he planned for us long ago. Little Lesson Learned: Words have power, but only the power we assign to them. Give power to the words that lift you higher and get you closer to the person you are striving to be. Copyright © 2022 littlelessonslearnedbydana (Dana Romualdi) Dana Romualdi, the copyright holder reserves all rights to the content on the blog and website Little Lessons Learned by Dana, including the right to reproduce, distribute, and display the content. No content or photographs may be reproduced or modified. Blogs may be shared on social media platforms in their entirety only with full credit given to the owner. Any photographs used by other photographers are used with permission and are also protected. All Rights Reserved. AuthorDana Romualdi is a Canadian elementary teacher, social worker, blogger, author, motivational speaker and recording artist. She has a passion for helping others and spreading much needed encouragement. She lives in Canada with her husband and two grown children. When she is not working or blogging, she enjoys drinking coffee, watching Netflix and reading great books.
Want to know more about what our Heavenly Father thinks of you? Click on picture here for blog: Everybody Know Dat!
0 Comments
Tags: Encanto, we don't talk about bruno, bell let's talk day, bell let's talk, counseling, mental health, mental health awareness, problem solving, coping skills, communication, mindset, self improvement
“Running from your problems is just adding another one to the list.” Tim Farge
Disney Studios, Encanto, 2022 If you are on social media at all these days, you cannot help but notice there is a certain movie taking the world by storm. Encanto, the latest movie by Disney Studios is a story about the exceptional Madrigal family, who live in the secluded mountains of Columbia, in an enchanted dwelling called the Casa Madrigal. The magic and fascination revolves around the Casa Madrigal and the fact that certain family members have been blessed for several generations, with extraordinary and unique gifts. These gifts include super strength, controlling the weather, healing with food, supersonic hearing, the ability to communicate with animals and being able to predict the future. Although there are many advantages to these incredible gifts, as the story unfolds, the audience comes to realize there is much going on “under the surface” that the characters are not admitting. They are trying to create a façade that all is well, but this charade cannot be maintained. The characters just need to be vulnerable and honest about their true thoughts, and feelings to become the people they were destined to be. Then there is Bruno. Poor Bruno. He is the outcast, the black sheep, the one that no one is allowed to talk about, which results in the song “We Don’t Talk about Bruno.” On a side note We Don't Talk About Bruno is No 2 on The Hot 100 Chart and is currently the highest charting song from Disney animated movies since 1993 according to recent research data. So why is this? Other than that it is a catchy tune, my thoughts are that it is totally relatable. You see, Bruno's gift is he can see the future and he was honest about it. This does not go over well with this unique family who likes to keep up appearances, and he gets banished from the family for his revelations. So where am I going with this little movie review you might ask? It illustrates well the damage that can happen when important matters are not discussed. We need to talk about “Bruno” and other important issues that are troubling us, to stay healthy in all aspects.
Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash
In honour of Bell Let’s Talk Day, I would like to speak to the importance of getting real and sharing out loud what our issues are. In my years employed as a clinical social worker, the duties I found most fulfilling were when I met with clients individually or in group counseling sessions. It was so incredible to watch people open up and share their concerns in a safe setting. It was so liberating for many and often the only place where they could feel they could be completely honest.
I recall a beautiful, young woman who had been coming for counseling for several weeks came in one day and became strangely quiet and uncomfortable. This was so unlike her and when I inquired about what was happening, she was close to tears. She stated, “Today I have decided to tell you my deepest struggle, and I know when I do our relationship will be over and I am very sad about that. I know as soon as I share, you will literally say… there’s the door.” I assured her I had no intention of doing that. She began to share and pour out her heart as I listened intently. She was watching me closely to see how I would react. When she had finished, I thanked her for opening up to me and sharing such personal things. I was honoured that she trusted me that much. I was not shocked by her story, but filled with compassion for her, and all she had been through. As she realized that our relationship was still intact and I was not going to abandon her, her countenance immediately changed. She felt so freed and realized that what she had been carrying for so long, needed to be shared with the right person to move forward. I am so glad I was her person that day and she made great progress throughout the sessions. I used to use the analogy of the person with a heavy backpack in my group sessions. In fact I would act it out and it always got some good laughs even though it was so sadly relatable for all of us. The little skit went like this … I would come in wearing a heavy backpack that represented my "problems," but I was going to try anything except talking about them to problem solve. I reenacted this skit for my students today but used a big box labelled "problems" instead of a backpack this time. Here's how it unfolds. Denial
I come in with a huge box labelled PROBLEMS. The problems are visible and obvious to everyone else, except me. I figure if I deny they exist, they will somehow magically disappear. What I don't see is that the letters in DENIAL stand for Don't Even Notice I am Lying. This strategy is clearly doomed to fail, but I will keep trying it.
Minimize
I have problems but they are not that serious. This is something that is best to keep to myself. Don’t bother anyone. I can handle it. I don't want to annoy my friends or appear too needy. This is something I can just live with it. It's not that bad. (at least that is what I keep telling myself)
Compare
I may have problems but I am certainly not as bad as this or that person. Now THAT is someone who clearly needs help, not me. I have my problems under control. I am way better off than that guy! ( at least I hope I am)
Camouflage
Just throw a cover on it and cover those problems up. If people ask if they can help as they see I have a lot of problems, I just act like I have no idea what they are talking about, look them right in the eye and say you are mistaken, I am just fine. (but I'm not)
Acceptance and Get Talking
Finally in the end, I acknowledge my problems, accept the fact I need help and talk about it. Only then will this heavy burden become bearable, as I unpack it little by little, and someone else helps me share the heavy lifting.
#BellLetsTalk
I love the Bell Let’s Talk campaign because it gives permission for people to talk about things they feel they shouldn’t talk about. If you are lonely, sad, depressed, suicidal, fearful, feeling guilty, shameful, confused, a victim of abuse or just need a friend, PLEASE find a trusted friend, family member, mentor, pastor or counselor and just start talking. Let your heart guide you and the healing will come.
Don't deny, minimize, compare, or camouflage your problems but accept them and get talking. We cannot change what we don’t acknowledge, so let’s open the lines of communication and get the conversation flowing. Please feel free to reach out to me by email (dana.romualdi@gmail.com ) or on one of my other social media platforms if you need a listening ear or want to start a conversation. Until next time, ~ Dana Copyright © 2022 littlelessonslearnedbydana Dana Romualdi, the copyright holder reserves all rights to the content on the blog and website Little Lessons Learned by Dana, including the right to reproduce, distribute, and display the content. No content or photographs may be reproduced or modified. Blogs may be shared on social media platforms in their entirety only with full credit given to the owner. Any photographs used by other photographers are used with permission and are also protected. All rights reserved. AuthorDana Romualdi is a Canadian elementary teacher, social worker, blogger, author, motivational speaker and recording artist. She has a passion for helping others and spreading much needed encouragement. She lives in Canada with her husband and two grown children. When she is not working or blogging, she enjoys drinking coffee, watching Netflix and reading great books.
Needing a friend? Click on picture for blog post Friends Needed ASAP.
"Life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we respond to it." ~ Chuck Swindoll A tale of two viewpointsThere is a story that is told of two men in the hospital. They were roommates. One man was in a bed far away from the window and the other had a bed that was right beside the window overlooking a beautiful and spacious courtyard. Each day the man by the window would describe all he could see in vivid detail for the other man. He would describe young families enjoying a special day together, giddy couples strolling hand in hand so much in love, beautiful flowers blooming in gorgeous colour, glorious sunrises and breath-taking sunsets. The list went on and on. At first the man away from the window really enjoyed these daily descriptions of interesting activity, but it was not long after that he became increasingly jealous and resentful. He did not want to simply HEAR about the flurry of activity outside his window, he wanted to SEE it too. One night the man by the window started having a medical emergency and begged the other man to call for the nurse. Due to his jealousy, the other man refused and completely ignored the man by the window's desperate pleas. Sadly, medical attention came too late, and the man by the window passed away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the man who was far from the window asked to be moved to the bed beside the window. He could hardly wait! He was desperate to witness the incredible activities firsthand for once, not just vicariously through his roommate. Excitedly he lifted himself to get his first glimpse and what he saw left him absolutely speechless. All that could be seen was a brick wall. This story is a cautionary tale yet serves to reiterate the incredible importance of a positive attitude and perspective. Reframe the situationI am realizing more and more that mindset is everything when it comes to how we view various life scenarios. Whether something is an ordeal or adventure, a steppingstone or stumbling block, often lies with us and how we choose to perceive it. Sometimes in life we need to reframe a situation to grasp what the true life lesson is, or to give it a positive spin. Two people can be experiencing the exact same scenario yet "see" it very differently. One may see it as an amazing opportunity, and the other may see it as a worst-case scenario. We often talk about the glass "half full or empty" illustration, but our attitudes towards life in general are instrumental in how we succeed in life. When it comes to a marathon, some want to win, and others just want to finish. I tell my students to focus on self-improvement and to not compare themselves to others. Their goal should be to be their own competition and focus on being a little better than yesterday when it comes to their goals. I remember one little guy that I taught would try so hard in class but what he would usually get was C's on his report card. He would get so defeated when he would get his marks back, but one area he really excelled in was Visual Arts. He was a great artist, and I will never forget when he got his first "A." He was in a state of shock! He kept saying "Thank you Mrs. R.!" I said "Don't thank me. You earned it! You did amazing!" He then said "But you don't understand. This is my first A! I can't wait to show my mom!" This was so much more than one mark to him. This became a catalyst for change as he then started to believe in himself more and that affected his whole school experience in a very positive way. See the goodIt is so easy to complain. If I am not careful, I can go down this path easily. I must train myself daily to reframe some of life's frustrations and put a more positive spin on them. It is not always easy to be positive. Sometimes it takes work. Here are some recent examples in my home that I did the old "switch-a-roo" on.
You get the idea. Life is good. Often what we have some could only wish for. It is easy to get caught up in negativity, but that only leads to discouragement. I specifically seek out people who have positive mindsets. They keep me grounded and help me get back on track when my attitude needs a change. They are my kind of people. They share their stories of hope and healing. They let you know you are not alone and remind you that usually much of what we stress about doesn't really matter in the end. Life can be just plain hard. Believe me, I have been there. There have been seasons of my life that I thought how can I possibly handle any more pain and heartache? As hard as it was though, I knew that If I kept the faith and believed that I was given this pain for a purpose, I would eventually come out on the other side and that has been the case, time after time. Staying positive is difficult. It can be an uphill battle when negativity and stress weigh you down, but by reframing the situation and looking for the good in the scenario you are moving forward when the times are tough. Is your response in certain areas, weighing you down? I know I have needed to reframe many situations lately and it is a very effective and handy life skill to develop. Care to join me? I highly recommend it. Until next time, ~ Dana Romans 8:28: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Little Lesson Learned: Looking for the positive or learning opportunity in a negative situation can make all the difference in the world. Copyright © 2024 littlelessonslearnedbydana 2nd edition. 1st edition 2022 Dana Romualdi, the copyright holder reserves all rights to the content on the blog and website Little Lessons Learned by Dana, including the right to reproduce, distribute, and display the content. No content or photographs may be reproduced or modified. Blogs may be shared on social media platforms in their entirety only with full credit given to the owner. Any photographs used by other photographers are used with permission and are also protected. All rights reserved.
Tags: mindset, growth mindset, perspective, positive attitude, perspective shiftTags: work-related burnout, burnout, pandemic teaching, virtual teaching, online teaching, education, teachers, perserverance, elementary teaching, mental health, positive attitude, classroom management, growth mindset,mental health support for teachers during covid, role of teachers during pandemic, impact on teachers during covid, teacher wellness during pandemic, tips for teachers returning to school during covidI wasn’t born to “just teach.” I was born to inspire others, to change people and to never give up; even when faced with challenges that seem impossible. ~ Sunil Singh
Message from Dana: I’m very thankful for the support my blog has received. As I have shared my insights with you, my heart is overwhelmed with gratitude because of your continued support. While I am a teacher and draw on professional experiences to inform this post, I hope these insights and tips apply to people in various fields and life situations during these challenging times.
So, once again, we are faced with another “pivot” in Ontario, Canada. We have recently wrapped up another session of virtual learning (“for now”) and are back to in-person instruction starting this week. Ready or not, the day is quickly approaching. The decision to resume in-person learning brings about many mixed feelings. As teachers, we are excited to see the kids and our colleagues, but we also may feel anxiety, fear, and stress. Our deepest desire is for everyone to be safe and for this pandemic to be over “like yesterday!"
Several months ago, I purchased a variety of inspirational t-shirts for work. I intended to use the messages printed on these shirts as a reminder to remain calm and collected during this difficult season. These t-shirts got quite a positive response and did wonders to lift my spirits. Coincidentally, these optimistic messages held the secret to helping me strive to be the best teacher I can be each day. From this experience, I have personal insights I would like to share with you. T-shirt One: Teach, Love, Inspire
Remember How You Started and Finish Strong
Please do me this favour. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and reflect on these questions. Remember when you first started teaching? Do you recall the inner go-getter who strived to change the world one student at a time? Maybe you are thinking, “Who me?" I say to you, “Yes, you!” You had big dreams. You were so motivated. You were so passionate about your calling to teach. You spent hours setting up your Pinterest-worthy classroom and preparing super-engaging lessons. You were born to "teach, love, and inspire" those precious students who were lucky enough to be on your class list and You. Were. Pumped! So, where is that keener now? Upon self-reflection, do you find yourself comparing the teacher you are today to what you deemed to be the best version of yourself as an educator? Well, news flash: that incredible educator is still there, but you are delivering instruction under ever-changing scenarios while being just plain tired. Please remind yourself we are not operating under normal circumstances. When it feels like your enthusiasm and passion for this profession may be waning, please know that you are valued and matter. You still bring so much to your classroom. You are in this career for a reason. You STILL have what it takes to be an effective and dynamic educator. Please be patient with yourself. The passion is still there – you just may need to search a bit deeper to find it. T-shirt Two: Coffee, Teach, Repeat
Find What Fills Your Soul
Take care of yourself. You need to be at your best right now, and that is no easy task. Seriously! I am drinking more coffee than I ever have (true story), and I am fine with that! Naps and Netflix are also some of my favourite ways to decompress. Losing myself in a series for a little while is very therapeutic. Fill your tank daily because you cannot give your best to those kids if you feel physically or emotionally drained. What makes your heart sing? What soothes your soul? It could be exercise, prayer, faith, mindfulness, naps, coffee with a friend, listening to podcasts, reading a good book, or perhaps listening to music. Whatever it is that fulfills your spirit and motivates you, please, please, please, do more of those things. Allow yourself this treat. You deserve it. The days are long and hard, so permitting yourself to be off the clock to take care of your mental health and engage in activities that bring you joy is the medicine you need right now. T-shirt Three: Hey, Teacher Friend
Teach More Than the Curriculum
Teaching may look a lot different these days, but there is still so much good happening in our classrooms. Relationships are forming, learning is happening, laughter is still in the air, and precious experiences and memories are happening each day. The students may be behind academically, but that is okay. Let’s get creative, try new things, and think outside the box. While academics are always important, we need to be equally concerned with students’ emotional and physical well-being. Above all, it is critical to display love to each student and make them feel safe. We should remind them that they have a family at school, and together we will get through these crazy times. Teach them that it's okay to be afraid sometimes because it is normal to feel this way. We should teach them that feeling frustrated or angry about the fact that there are so many rules is understandable. You are still a HUGE part of their lives. Often you are their safe place. You can spend up to 6-7 hours a day with them, and you are a powerful influence in their lives. They look to you for leadership. Even though it feels like we are literally "building the plane as we fly it," these days, show up as the true leader you are, and I know you will figure out what works for you and your students. T-Shirt Four:
|
AuthorDana Romualdi is a Canadian elementary teacher, social worker, blogger, author, motivational speaker and recording artist. She has a passion for helping others and spreading much needed encouragement. She lives in Canada with her husband and two grown children. When she is not working or blogging she enjoys drinking coffee, watching Netflix and reading great books. |
Tags: friendship, loneliness, Betty White, connections, virtual tools, virtual platforms, isolation, pandemic issues |
Photo by Marina Shatskih from Pexels
"The only way to have a friend is to be one." Ralph Waldo Emerson |
AuthorDana Romualdi is an elementary teacher, social worker, blogger, author, motivational speaker and recording artist. She has a passion for helping others and spreading much needed encouragement. She lives in Canada with her husband and two grown children. When she is not working or blogging she enjoys drinking coffee, watching Netflix and reading great books. |
Dana Romualdi is an elementary teacher, social worker, blogger, author, motivational speaker and recording artist. She has a passion for helping others and spreading much needed encouragement. She lives in Canada with her husband and two grown children. When she is not working or blogging she enjoys drinking coffee, watching Netflix and reading great books.
Dana Romualdi is a Canadian elementary teacher, social worker, blogger, author, motivational speaker and recording artist. She has a passion for helping others and spreading much-needed encouragement. She lives in Canada with her husband and two grown children. When she is not working in the classroom or blogging, she enjoys drinking coffee, watching Netflix and reading great books.
Dana Romualdi is a Canadian elementary teacher, social worker, blogger, author, motivational speaker and recording artist. She has a passion for helping others and spreading much-needed encouragement. She lives in Canada with her husband and two grown children. When she is not working in the classroom or blogging, she enjoys drinking coffee, watching Netflix and reading great books.
Dana Romualdi is a Canadian elementary teacher, social worker, blogger, author, motivational speaker and recording artist. She has a passion for helping others and spreading much-needed encouragement. She lives in Canada with her husband and two grown children. When she is not working in the classroom or blogging, she enjoys drinking coffee, watching Netflix and reading great books.
Dana Romualdi is a Canadian elementary teacher, social worker, blogger, author, motivational speaker and recording artist. She has a passion for helping others and spreading much-needed encouragement. She lives in Canada with her husband and two grown children. When she is not working in the classroom or blogging, she enjoys drinking coffee, watching Netflix and reading great books.
All
Christmas
Dancing
Easter
Encouragement
Faith
Family
Forgiveness
Friendship
Goal Setting
Grief And Loss
Growth Mindset
Healing
Joy
Kindness
Laughter
Love
Marriage
New Year
Parenting
Personal Growth
Priorities
Procrastination
Relationship With God
Self Esteem
Sibling Relationships
Thankfulness
Trust In God
Wisdom
Worship
Worship-music
May 2024
April 2024
March 2024
February 2024
January 2024
April 2022
February 2022
January 2022
December 2021
October 2021
September 2021
August 2021
July 2021
February 2019
January 2019
January 2017
October 2016
August 2016
July 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
November 2014
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
November 2013
October 2013