Tags: conversation, words, compliments, words of affirmation, 5 love languages, self-talk, God's love, choose your words, positivity
"Our words have power. They impact others but they also impact us."
~ Michael Hyatt
Words have such power. They have the power to heal, encourage, motivate, and comfort. On the flipside, they also have the power to discourage, offend and destroy a person as well. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that words are "just words," and they don’t mean anything. There is nothing further from the truth! I always had a hard time with the quote “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I thought who is the misinformed, disconnected person who coined that silly phrase? Words can hurt very deeply, and people can carry the wound from them for years, if they are not addressed properly.
I have experienced situations where someone’s kind words have touched my heart so deeply, the words that were spoken will resonate in my heart forever. I have also had snide remarks or criticism made to me that have had a lasting, negative impact on me, for years.
On my Facebook page we are discussing the 5 Love Languages as discussed by author, Gary Chapman. If you are not on my page, I encourage you to get on Facebook and "like" the page as it is a very fascinating topic. The five love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch and receiving gifts. Everyone has a primary love language. When we understand what that is for ourselves and our loved ones, and we do more actions that validate that love language, our special people feel very loved by us.
We are currently discussing words of affirmation on my page. Words of affirmation are more than just telling someone you love him or her. It is letting people know how proud you are of them, giving compliments and sharing uplifting, positive, heartfelt statements to enhance their self worth and make them feel valued. We need so much more of that these days. Don’t even get me started on this one! There is so much negativity out there, it is truly sad. When we hear of positive situations, stories and uplifting words, it is the breath of fresh air, and change in conversation we need right now.
It is not enough to think things that are complimentary and positive about people. We need to vocalize them. I have heard people say things like my husband KNOWS I love him. I don’t need to say it, or my mom KNOWS that she is important to me. I don’t need to say it. I would challenge that and say you DO need to say it, because we all need to hear positive statements about ourselves. Sometimes it could be the exact thing that that person needs to bring him or her a little bit of hope, or a smile that day.
Let’s unpack together how words could be affecting you in three, important and profound ways.
How’s Your Self-Talk? ~Words About Yourself
What words are you using to describe yourself at present? Have you thought about that recently? I have heard people so easily say about themselves comments such as: “I am so fat” or “I am so lazy.” “I am so unorganized” or “I am so clumsy.” You get the idea. The same people often have a very hard time saying anything positive about themselves, or even accepting a compliment. Be aware of the negative self- talk and put an end to it. You can be your own best friend or worst enemy. Choose wisely!
If there is something you are working to change about yourself, acknowledge it, phrase it in a more appropriate fashion, and follow it up with an action. For instance, if you are struggling with weight loss, tell yourself I am not the weight I want to be, but I am working hard through healthy choices and exercise to get where I need to be. Another example could be saying I have struggles with organization, but if I focus on organizing one area at a time, I can do it. We ALL have areas we need to grow in. Acknowledge them and articulate how you will address them in a positive and productive fashion.
He Said, She Said: Words from Others About You
Many people have blessed me with their gift of positive and kind words. I can think of many occasions when there were tears in my eyes and my heart was full from kind words said to me. Why is it though that even if many people say so many kind things to me, I may choose to focus on the negative comment I got? Can you relate? I remember a blog I wrote years ago that got great feedback from others, however one reader did not agree with the person I quoted at the beginning of my blog. He felt that that person had no business being quoted on a Christian blog and he was both offended and shocked. Truth be told, I had not researched the life story of that person, so it was a good reminder, but I let that comment rattle me so much. I questioned my judgement about my entire blog, and was so worried about who else I had perhaps offended. I am growing in this area, and I know I must learn to take the good with the bad. When any of us gets criticism, we need to learn to accept it and ask what we can learn from it? Sometimes it has nothing to do with us and is more a reflection of a broken person lashing out and as they say, “hurt people, hurt people.” I am learning to extend more grace to those people because we really don’t always know their story.
Why is it also even when we have created a wonderful life for ourselves as adults, we can’t forget the damaging things that have been said to us as children from someone we trusted? Why do we give those words power anymore? You are not those negative things that people said you are in your past. You are an incredible, interesting, beautiful, and valuable person. You are worth getting to know, have much to add to this world and bring something to the table that no one else can. If someone has hurt you deeply in the past, I challenge you to do the work and forgive that person for his or her hurtful ways. You are punishing yourself by holding onto the inconsiderate comments. This is difficult to do, but so liberating in the end. See yourself the way God does. He looks at you through pure love.
The Father Speaks: Words About You From God
God is crazy about you. He is totally obsessed with you, to such an extreme that He even knows the number of hairs on your head! Of all His creation, you my friend are his absolute favourite. The Bible says that He knew you before you were born, and His word says he has written your name in the palm of His hand. That is how important you are! You are chosen, loved and precious. There is no one that could ever take your place, and there is nothing you can do to ever lose God’s favour. You are that valuable and special to him.
I get really worked up about this topic because I have made it my personal mission to change the dialogue and atmosphere wherever I can. I want to radiate positivity and assist people to see their inherent value, maximize their potential and step into all they have been created to be.
In closing, decide to focus on positive words about yourself, dwell on the positive feedback you have received from others, and rest in the unconditional favour and acceptance of God. Trust me this is a beautiful place to be! Let’s hang out there together. I’ll bring the coffee.
Until next time,
Ephesians 2:10 ( NLT) ~ For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things that he planned for us long ago.
Little Lesson Learned: Words have power, but only the power we assign to them. Give power to the words that lift you higher and get you closer to the person you are striving to be.
Copyright © 2022 littlelessonslearnedbydana
Dana Romualdi is a Canadian elementary teacher, social worker, blogger, author, motivational speaker and recording artist. She has a passion for helping others and spreading much needed encouragement. She lives in Canada with her husband and two grown children. When she is not working or blogging, she enjoys drinking coffee, watching Netflix and reading great books.