 September 30th marks the two year anniversary of losing my beautiful mom. Grief is such a complicated emotion. Certain days I am handling it well, and then something comes that will trigger a memory, and my grief feels fresh and raw all over again. This is totally normal. You never "get over" losing someone you love. You just somehow through God's grace learn to manage your loss. Losing a loved one leaves a huge hole in your daily life, as the void you now must live with can at times completely overwhelm you. I have learned some strategies and have been involved in some healing activities that have helped me honour my mom as a walk through my grief. Perhaps you are grieving someone as well at the moment. Here are some suggestions on how to keep his or her memory alive and let that very special person's legacy live on. 1. Talk about them often Mom on a beloved "Mrs. Lear Friday." Please talk about your loved one as often as you need to. If you have people in your circle who find your conversation about your lost loved one awkward or uncomfortable, find people who don't. Gravitate towards others who are great listeners and/ or who are also on their own grief journeys. They are "your people" right now. These fine folks will help you on this difficult road. Writing my blog has also been such a source of healing for me as I include memories of mom and life lessons she taught me very often. 2. Organize events to remember them Here is my brother Matt, at our special sibling breakfast time to honour Mom. On the first anniversary of my mom's passing, we started a tradition of going to a favourite restaurant as a family with my siblings, their families and my dad. We had a bonfire after and shared many sweet memories of mom. We continue this tradition today. Mom loved to eat out with friends. She was very sociable. She cherished these special times with others. We honour her by participating in what she loved.  You are my Sunshine cards. They turned out so cute! To keep my mom's memory alive in my classroom, I planned a "You are My Sunshine" party with my students. Mom had a huge collection of "You are my Sunshine" items that she had accumulated over the years. She was literally sunshine in human form, and she would always sing this song to us as kids. I explained to my students that my Mom was always doing kind things for others, so in her name, I was doing something kind for them. I encouraged them to keep the kindness going, and one of the activities at the party was to make a card for others letting them know how much they were loved and valued. It was a big success and a great time was had by all. 3. Recognize people who were important to them Sunshine Treats for a special staff. My mom was a faithful volunteer at my workplace, Queen Elizabeth Public School. She LOVED the staff and the staff LOVED her. On her Mrs. Lear "Fridays" she would go door to door in the school hallways sharing her humour, kindness and friendly conversation with all she met. She was just like that and everyone was drawn to her. On a professional development day, I had special baked goods brought in that were lovingly prepared by a dear colleague of mine for the staff to enjoy. It was my way of remembering Mom and thanking my great coworkers for the love and kindness they had shown to Mom all throughout the years as well. It brought me great comfort to bring them a little "sunshine" on that September day. 4. Donate to their favourite charity in their nameMom's favourite charity was an organization called Sleeping Children Around the World. This charity gives bedkits to children in impoverished countries so they can have a comfortable and safe place to sleep. As an extended family, we purchased several bedkits in Mom's name. What makes this charity very special is they take a picture of the recipient of the bed kit with a plaque with Mom's name on it and send it to us. The charity also wrote me a handwritten note extending their condolences on Mom's passing, sharing what a faithful supporter she was of SCAW in the past. That was very special. 5. Live your best life Your special person you are missing would not want you to live the rest of your life in sorrow. I am not suggesting in any way that you do not take time to properly grieve. You must and need to do that, but don't stay there. Your loved one would not want you to live in black clothes acting like YOUR life is over all the time. He or she would want the opposite for you. Don't stop living because your loved one did. Live on with passion and make him or her a part of all you do. They are always with you in spirit and in your heart and that is something no one can ever take from you. I have always had a special heart for people who are grieving. I wrote a book entitled Magic Kisses on that very subject. If you are interested in purchasing it, feel free to click on the picture below to order it.  These simple ways to honour Mom have brought me such comfort. I hope that if you are grieving right now, you can find meaningful ways to honour your special person as well. Feel free to use one of my ideas if it feels right for you. Until next time, Dana P.S. Miss you Mom! I will live my whole life to love God and people the way you did! Psalms 34:18 ~ The Lord is close to the broken hearted. He rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Little Lessons Learned: Those we love are never really gone, because they live forever in our hearts.
Tags: grief and loss, honouring lost lost ones, comfort, legacies, loss of mother, processing griefCopyright: © 2024 littlelessonslearnedbydana (Dana Romualdi)
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 Photo by Little Lessons Learned by Dana "Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything." ~ C.S. Lewis I have been really missing Mom BIG TIME as the days quickly approach to the second anniversary of her passing. To think it has already been almost two years that this beautiful soul left us here on earth is hard to comprehend sometimes. Although she is not physically with me, she is truly with me every day. I feel her in so many ways throughout my days. It is so encouraging and comforting. I am my mother's daughter in so many ways and I am extremely proud of that. Her pictures are prominently displayed in my home and classroom and I love to share the timeless life lessons she taught me whenever I can. Mom had so much wisdom and she took every chance she could to impart the powerful lessons she had learned along the way to anyone who would listen. I am so happy to share some of my favourites with you. "Don't lose the victory." Photo by Andrea Piacquadio at Pexels Mom would always say when tough times come, don't let those circumstances rob your joy, or pull you under. With Jesus at our side we are always on the winning team. Mom was no stranger to adversity. She struggled with clinical depression several times in her life. At times, she definitely was pulled under by this dark disease, and keeping the victory seemed impossible for her. We never stopped praying for her and MANY times she had beautiful times of recovery and redemption. For her last bout of depression, we were not so fortunate. She did not receive her victory of a healing on earth, but we know Mom is living her best, victorious life in Heaven and we do find great comfort in that. "Keep a rainbow in your heart." Photo by Ben Mack at Pexels As we would navigate our hardest days, Mom would encourage us to keep joy tucked in our hearts, despite the personal storms we might be experiencing. This would keep us moving ahead and pointed in the right direction every time. What I always loved about this expression, is that it emphasized that despite what was happening around us that we could not control, we could control what was happening in us which was our reaction to circumstances. This is where the power lies. Many times I experienced joy in chaos and the peace that passes understanding that the Bible speaks of when I chose to keep that optimistic rainbow shining brightly in my heart. "There's better days ahead." Mom would remind us that tough times don't last, but tough people do. I want to remind you of that as well. It is important to reflect on the past when the hard times come. You have come through so much already and you will come through this too. This too shall pass, even when at the time it feels that this struggle, challenge or stage will NEVER end. Be assured this is not how your story ends. It is just a bump in the road. Hang in there my friend. "Be a Can-do woman." Mom would encourage us to get I can't out of our vocabulary. I strongly advise you to do the same. Let's start to change our response and dialogue together to the challenges in life. Repeat after me: I can do this! I can overcome this! I will come through this better and stronger! I can and will use this trial to be a blessing to others in time when I am ready.  Photo by Little Lessons Learned by Dana This picture above was the last picture taken of Mom and I together before she passed away. She was still struggling with depression, yet trying to implement and exemplify the life lessons she had imparted to us. I am who I am because of her. I am forever grateful for all that she taught me and will NEVER forget how incredibly special she was. She had so much great advice to share and I trust that these few examples have resonated with you and you can tuck them in your heart today! Until next time, Dana
Tags: grief, losing a mother, life lessons, things mom taught me, legacy, remember loved onesCopyright: © 2024 littlelessonslearnedbydana (Dana Romualdi)
 “The love of family is my greatest blessing.” I am Canadian so we have the pleasure of celebrating Family Day today. A day to relax, a break from the regular routine and a chance to hang out with those familiar people who are most dear. For me that is my husband Phil, and two teenagers Tyler and Shannon. Although I must admit as I am writing this blog the three of them are still snoozing, but that’s all part of a day off now too isn’t it? Not only am I very blessed with my own wonderful family, but I have many incredible extended family members and also many great friends who to me are just like family. I gave a little plaque to a dear friend of mine on Friday that said “Friends are the family you choose,” and that is truly the case in regards to my closest friends. There are many great TV shows that depict the power of family. I remember some of the greats I enjoyed as a kid like Happy Days, The Brady Bunch, Full House, Little House on The Prairie and Different Strokes. I had a great laugh the other day when one of my students was telling me a cute, yet very lengthy story and I said to her in fun the classic line “What you talkin’ about Willis?” Without missing a beat she replied “Oh yeah! Different Strokes! I love that show!” So shocked she even knew “what I was talking about,” but ahh the power of Netflix! Those shows dealt with common issues families have, yet always gave a sense somehow that as a family they would figure it out and everything would be okay in the end. Some families in real life are not doing so well however. Their problems are much more complex and cannot be solved in the timeframe of a TV show. Many are dealing with heartache and despair and on Family Day are missing a loved one deeply. Later today I have the sad task of going to the funeral home to pay my respects to a dear friend of mine named Jane. Jane had a passion for life, a deep love for her family and her God, and a constant twinkle in her eye. She would grin from ear to ear at times like she was about to burst with the latest funny story she would like to share. Even when she was diagnosed with brain cancer and was in terrible pain and turmoil, her faith remained steady. She set a pure example of someone who found God’s peace in the midst of the storm for us all. She will be dearly missed as she was loved and respected by so many. My heart is heavy for her family today. Saying goodbye is so hard. I have heard it said that when you lose a family member it is like a piece of your heart has been ripped right out. Your heart is so broken that you feel you must be wearing your grief like a banner for all to see. I felt this way when I lost my grandparents and it deeply saddened me that my children would never get to know them as I did. My heart especially goes out to children who are grieving and that is why I am so thrilled that my dream has finally come true of publishing a children’s book regarding this issue to help them through this difficult time. The book is called: Magic Kisses A Grief Journey from Heartache to Hope and is available for sale by contacting me. I read it for the first time to a group of children this week and could see that they were really listening intently. Afterwards we were able to discuss important people in their lives who they were missing and how they could cope with that. This was exciting for me as that was the whole point of writing the book to help kids give their grief a voice and find healing when they are ready.  To purchase Magic Kisses Click Here Many people suffer in silence with not only their grief but other issues they are struggling with as well. Many people feel they are somehow unique and that no one could ever understand their feelings or despair. In my social work training we learned of the “all in the same boat” scenario. Simply put it spoke of the power of being transparent with each other. When we admit that we too struggle with something, it is so powerful for someone who feels alone. Struggles are extremely personal, yet what seems impossible to overcome for one person, may be extremely easy to solve with someone else's help. This is why we need to share our heart’s cries with people we love and trust. A classic and cute example of this involves when my daughter Shannon was in second grade. She came home one day totally distraught. When I asked what was wrong she proceeded to explain through her sobs that something had happened that day that greatly upset her. She said they were learning about something in math that she found so hard! When asked to elaborate she said “Oh mom, you don’t understand! We are learning about TAKE AWAY! I don’t get it and I never will!” I quickly replied “Take away, as in subtraction? I totally get take away. Actually with being a teacher I am really quite good at it!” The look on her face was priceless! It was like a huge weight had been lifted because someone finally understood, cared and would take practical steps to help her solve her dilemma. People need to know that we will stand with them during their hard times. We may or may not have a solution to their heartache or struggle, but our concern and physical presence speaks volumes. The fact that we can become the answer to someone’s prayer through our practical actions is both exciting and humbling all at that same time. This is what the meaning of true family is, being there for each other through good times and bad. Cherish your family members, even with their flaws and all those amazing friends who are just like family, not just on Family Day but every day. Sometimes we need a reminder of how truly blessed we are! Until next time, Dana Galatians 6:2: Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Little Lesson Learned: Family Day is everyday! Let’s celebrate these special people often! Copyright: © 2014 littlelessonslearnedbydana (Dana Romualdi) Dana Romualdi, the copyright holder reserves all rights to the content on the blog and website Little Lessons Learned by Dana, including the right to reproduce, distribute, and display the content. No content or photographs may be reproduced or modified. Blogs may be shared on social media platforms in their entirety only with full credit given to the owner. Any photographs used by other photographers are used with permission and are also protected. All Rights Reserved.
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