 Photo from Alyshia Bilokraly “To the outside world, we grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the space of time. ~ Clara Ortega Siblings. They see the best and worst of us. They ride the rollercoaster of crazy family life with us from the beginning to the end, yet if we are fortunate enough somewhere along the way they become our best friends. I am one of three children, the middle child. I have an older sister Judy, and a younger brother Matt. When it comes to siblings, I know it may sound a bit biased but I truly hit the jackpot. I am so pleased to introduce you to my siblings. Let’s start with Judy. My Sister Judy My sister Judy is two years older than me and from the moment I was born, I have felt that Jude and I were destined to be besties. She is fiercey protective, extremely compassionate and has always been wise beyond her years. She is married to Jeff, and has three wonderful sons: Ben, Adam and Seth. Judy is a registered nurse and currently holds the title of Operations Manager of Addictions Services at a large hospital. Each day she makes an incredibly positive impact on both her staff and patients there. I recall job shadowing her once when she was working as an RN. My amount of respect for Judy positively skyrocketed when I saw her in her element and observed her level of medical expertise. I tell you it was unreal, next level stuff. Judy is brilliant, hilariously funny, extremely organized and the person you want in your corner during any crisis. Shortly ago, Judy went through a lengthy breast cancer battle. It was extremely difficult for her, yet she continued to work full-time, share God's light and love people with intensity as she always has. I accompanied her on one of her chemotherapy days and I can still see it. There she was, no hair, big grin, armed with her daytimer, pens and highlighters, happily planning her week and encouraging others even while attached to an IV. She did not miss a beat and inspired so many during this very difficult time. Judy is one of the most exceptional people I have ever known. She has been a godsend on so many occasions to so many and is truly the rock of our family. Now, let's hear about Matt. My Brother Matt Matt is four years younger than me. I regret to admit that I did give Matt a bit of a hard time growing up, as I loved to tease him as my little brother, but that is all behind us now. We are extremely close. Matt is exceptionally creative, very musical, (Is there any instrument he can't play?) passionate about his goals, an innovative risk taker, a successful businessman and actor and someone that just “makes things happen.” When Matt has a goal, he pursues it with intensity and goes after it unwaveringly. He is a skilled problem solver and I greatly admire him. Matt is married to Michelle and has three incredible kids: Caden, Kyra and Luke. Matt is a go-getter and always has some cool creative project on the go. His family recently built a gorgeous cottage in an extremely picturesque location. We rented it last summer and it was indeed a piece of paradise. Everywhere we looked it had his family's creative and heartwarming touches and just spoke to the standard of excellence that Matt applies to all of his endeavours. His most recent project is he and his wife Michelle are renovating a van into an RV, so they can travel on their own terms in style. I am always amazed to hear of his latest adventure or project and am truly in awe of him as not only my brother, but as a person in general. Matt too has a heart for ministry and has been involved in many capacities in our church or other ministries. I am incredibly proud of him and so proud to say that he is my brother. Sibling Love or Rivalry? Photo from Alyshia Bilokraly I realize that my situation with my siblings is not necessarily typical. I hope and pray that you have a similar situation, but if you don’t, know that healing is still possible. My family has gone through some very hard times lately, especially with our mom’s illness and death. It has only brought us closer. With our dad at the helm and God in the center of all we do there is truly NOTHING we can't handle together and I say that with all my heart. If you have strained relationships with your siblings, I encourage you to seek reconciliation. You do not have to be best friends, but forgiveness is so healing. It is truly a gift you give yourself. For more information on how to do that click here. The Bible says in Proverbs 18:24: there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. For me, as I have amazing siblings it speaks to me of the magnitude of love that Jesus has for us. Judy and Matt would drop everything and come running for me, whatever I need, yet God's love is SO much deeper than that. If your sibling relationships are not what you have hoped for or desire, know that Jesus can fill that void as your friend and heavenly father. He wants to be close to you, closer than any brother could possibly be and heal your wounded heart. It is never too late to make a fresh start with God or your family members. Pray for reconciliation and then let God do the work. Please also know that when we are members of God's family, we are all brothers and sisters in Christ as well. This is a beautiful set of siblings that everyone needs in their lives. I am here for you as your sister in Christ if you need me. You know where to find me! Until next time, Dana Psalms 133:1 ~ Look how good and pleasing it is when families live together as one. Little Lesson Learned: Friends will come and go, but family is forever.
Copyright: © 2024 littlelessonslearnedbydana (Dana Romualdi) Dana Romualdi, the copyright holder reserves all rights to the content on the blog and website Little Lessons Learned by Dana, including the right to reproduce, distribute, and display the content. No content or photographs may be reproduced or modified. Blogs may be shared on social media platforms in their entirety only with full credit given to the owner. Any photographs used by other photographers are used with permission and are also protected. All Rights Reserved. Tags: Jesus is closer than a brother, siblings, sibling relationships, childhood memories, reconciliation, healing
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“God has a plan for each of our lives. As hard as it is to understand and as painful as it might be, sometimes that even means Him allowing bad things to happen in order for His purpose to be fulfilled.” ~ Cherlisa Starks Richardson
Easter is upon us once again, and it has got me reminiscing of Easters gone by. I couldn’t help but smile when I recall a very cute and humorous Easter story from my past.
So let me set the scene for you. I was teaching an energetic group of three-year-olds at church and I was bound and determined, no matter what it took, to enlighten these kiddos about the true meaning of Easter. As the lesson unfolded I was trying my best to explain to them that Easter is so much more than chocolate bunnies and Easter baskets. One little guy interrupted me and said “You’re so right! Easter is not about the chocolate bunnies. (Wait for it…) It’s really about the chocolate eggs!” Oh no! I guess he didn’t really get it after all, much to my dismay. After some other activities and riveting discussion, I thought I was actually making some real headway in the area of the true meaning of Easter. With gusto, I began the grand finale of my Easter lesson, the holy grail for all Sunday school teachers everywhere: the flannel board story. Oh, how I loved those when I was a kid. The story of the day was about Mary and Martha at the tomb of Jesus. They had come with broken hearts expecting to mourn and find his body there. I explained they were very surprised and saddened because Jesus wasn’t there. The same little boy interrupted me again as I was explaining their sadness and said “No, I don't think they were sad about THAT, I think they were sad because they lost their chocolate bunnies.” I thought to myself, That's it! I give up! As an aside, I had to chuckle though about a story shared when my cousin had that same little guy in Sunday school the next week. She too thought she was really getting somewhere with the lesson, especially when he asked if he could lead in prayer. Wow! Quite impressed she immediately responded “Yes, of course!” He was so excited and started praying with great enthusiasm “Oh Lord, for the dinosaurs. Help them! Keep them safe, just be with them Lord.” My cousin could barely keep a straight face, but admitted it was very sweet to hear him pray with such fervency. 
Photo by Pixabay
Sometimes the best laid plans do not turn out the way we would like them to like my "life changing" Sunday School lesson, but that is just life sometimes. It does seem though, that in our busy society there truly are so many like my little friend who do not grasp what Easter is truly all about. In church each year at Easter we examine the great sacrifice that Christ made for us on the cross and celebrate communion together. It is something that is always an extremely powerful experience for me, as we truly meditate upon the selfless act of love that Christ did for us.
I cannot even imagine how the disciples felt to see their beloved friend crucified or Mary, his mother to witness the torture of her precious son. Even though Jesus had attempted to prepare them for this upcoming event, how can anyone ever really be prepared for THAT? I am sure they were so confused, desperately wondering what is the point of all this? Fixating on the present, they were not even considering the miracle that was soon to take place. Ironically as they honestly thought everything was falling apart, it was clearly and miraculously falling into place for not just them, but all of us as God’s children. Many times in life things in general happen to us that just do not make ANY sense. Plans fail, relationships break down, death takes a loved one, tragedy strikes, jobs are lost or disaster comes our way. Our corner of the world is rocked TO THE CORE and we shake our heads thinking... WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?? The group Casting Crowns has a beautiful song called Just Be Held. The lyrics and message of the song really resonate with me, as they explain what often happens during the most confusing and painful times in our lives. The song says “Your world’s not falling apart. It’s falling into place.” To check out that beautiful song click here. 
We only see a small part of the picture, but God sees the big picture. Many times in my life I have wondered why I have had heartaches and struggles. I have been angry and questioned why did I have to go through these challenges when I could have learned the same lesson another, less painful way? The beautiful thing is with God’s help and the passage of time, we can take all that pain and channel it in a positive way to help others. We have a powerful connection with others when we too have walked that same road. Our family has experienced immense grief, miscarriages, serious illness, unemployment, financial setbacks, and other personal struggles. I can say with assurance that there is not one difficult thing that we have gone through that we have not been able to speak about to help others.
When going through a hard time and you find yourself asking what the point of it all is, remember God opens doors and closes them in our lives. Remember too in the Easter story, things looked so dark on Friday, but by Sunday the situation had been miraculously changed! You do not know when your breakthrough is coming and it could be much sooner than you ever dreamed. Consider the fact that maybe, just maybe if you are open to the possibility, your world’s not falling apart but instead it's falling perfectly into place. Sending you so much love, Dana Isaiah 55: 8-9 ~ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Little Lesson Learned: When we question a chapter of our story, remember we don't know how our story ends, but God does. Learn to practice patience and trust Him.
Copyright: © 2024 littlelessonslearnedbydana (revised edition) 2016 original, first edition entitled "What's the Point?"
(Dana Romualdi) Dana Romualdi, the copyright holder reserves all rights to the content on the blog and website Little Lessons Learned by Dana, including the right to reproduce, distribute, and display the content. No content or photographs may be reproduced or modified. Blogs may be shared on social media platforms in their entirety only with full credit given to the owner. Any photographs used by other photographers are used with permission and are also protected. All Rights Reserved. Tags: What is God's plan for me? God's plan, Jeremiah 29:11, faith in hard times, trust in God, Easter, when God doesn't make sense Photo by Johannes Plenio "No one is you and that is your superpower." ~ Unknown It is something I will always remember. In she came proud as a peacock, in clunky high heeled shoes way too big for her tiny little feet clickety clacking across the tiled classroom floor. Grinning from ear to ear, she eagerly announced “Mrs. R. I have brought you a birthday present today, and I want everyone here to know I spent TONS of money on it!” I couldn’t help but smile as the first thing that caught my eye was the beat-up Christmas bag was filled with a purple balloon already blown up. Underneath were other interesting treasures that included a McDonald’s Happy Meal toy, a plastic flower, and some shiny bracelets of various sizes. She could hardly contain her excitement, and it was clearly evident. Her kind gesture really touched me. She was beaming as I thanked her repeatedly for her thoughtfulness, and her classmates watched with interest. Later, that morning as others scurried off to recess, she curiously lingered behind looking quite sheepish. She then proceeded to ask if she could speak to me “privately.” As we chatted, a confession poured out like water overflowing from a tiny cup. Teary eyed she shared, “I must be honest with you. I didn’t spend a ton of money on your gift I, well I…. found all this stuff in my room and I am so sorry. I just wanted so badly to give you something.” Our eyes met and hearts connected. I really felt for her. Her generosity reflected truly the best she had. I thanked her for her honesty and assured her that I found her gift very meaningful. It was truly the best she had and was given with such love. It was so obvious she gave her best, and had even dressed up for the occasion to show up as her best self for someone she dearly loved. Next I recall another little boy I had in Room 21 one year. Whenever he was faced with a challenge in class, he was known to always say “I will try my best.” He clearly lived up to that motto, as no matter what came his way at school, following that premise, day after day he consistently gave his all. In doing that, he was very successful. He clearly gave his best day after day, and the results came.  Giving our best and being our best means different things for different people. The smallest gesture can have the greatest impact, especially when we know that there has been a sacrifice involved. Recently we celebrated Random Acts of Kindness Day. There is a great book by Emily Pearson called Ordinary Mary's Extraordinary Deed that I love to read to my class. In the book the "extraordinary deed" that Mary did was placing a bowl of fresh blueberries on her neighbour's porch. Not very extraordinary, but it was the best Mary had and she wanted to bless her neighbour. The extraordinary part of the story is this loving gesture then launched a chain of events where her neighbour made blueberry muffins for her friends and then they did kind deeds for their friends. It went on and on. The little deed launched a momentous chain of kindness that created a very positive impact on so many in the end. It truly showed how the smallest deed can have a very big impact at times. Sometimes it is more than we could even imagine. Being our best selves can start by simply being kind to others. People may wonder: how do we keep striving for personal growth day after day when life is just plain hard at times? I have some helpful suggestions to share with you. Limit screen time Photo by Rodion Kutsaiev on Unsplash We need to make a commitment to strive to give our best to each other. One way we can do this is by limiting our screen time. Almost everyone has cell phones these days, but life goes on beyond the tiny screen. I am trying to be more mindful of this and more emotionally present for my family and friends. Facebook and Instagram can’t hold a candle to honest and meaningful conversation with those you love, trust me. Giving others our undivided attention and quality time is certainly indicative of being our best selves. Accept your limitationsAs we strive to be the best we can be, it means accepting our limitations and learning to be content with what life brings our way. It is easy to get discouraged when things aren’t going according to schedule, or things are not going as we planned. During those times, we must remind ourselves that doing our best each day, and striving to be our best self is all anyone can ask of us. It is our responsibility to keep pressing on, knowing that life brings ups and downs, but we can overcome them one day at a time.  Photo by Prateek Katyal Share encouragementTo work towards being our best, involves offering others hope and encouragement and sharing our insights on the life lessons we have learned. Helping others brings out the best in all of us, as it helps us shift our focus to someone else. We grow and change in a positive way, when we help others. Learn from mistakesHaving a goal of being the best versions of ourselves means we must learn from our mistakes. I once had a boss who would always say “You made a mistake. Great! Let’s celebrate it! There is so much to be learned here!” I have never forgotten that perspective and do believe it does make sense and has helped me through some tough times. Becoming our best self is a process and does not happen overnight. Take care of yourself Photo by Taryn Elliott Being our best means taking time for proper self-care. We are useless if we are used up. Working ourselves to the point of exhaustion will never get us to where we want to go. Rest, book a massage or pedicure. Read, watch movies, exercise or catch up with friends. Do what feeds your soul. It feels great to indulge a bit and recharge our batteries. We have people depending on us which includes family, and friends and in my case, even a sweet group of little people at work. Offering others our best self is impossible if we are empty. So fill your cup, whatever that looks for you. Invite God’s strength into your lifeFinally, striving to be our best self each day means realizing that we do not have to do it alone. We can choose to have God empower us to reach our true potentials each day. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. The Bible also talks about that when we are weak, He is strong. That is so reassuring to know that we can choose to include God in our daily lives, and He will work to truly bring out the best in us for others. Giving our best, striving to be the best we can be daily is not always easy, but one day at a time it truly can be done. We are only human, and we will all have ups and downs, but knowing that each new day that comes brings us a fresh start is very reassuring. Keep on doing your best each day. As they say, life is a marathon, not a sprint. We are all works in progress. I believe in you!  Until next time, Dana Philippians 4:13 ~ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Little Lesson Learned: Becoming our best self is a process. You are allowed to be a masterpiece and work in progress simultaneously. Remember that.
Copyright: © 2024 littlelessonslearnedbydana, revised edition, First edition, © 2015 entitled: Giving Our Best (Dana Romualdi) Dana Romualdi, the copyright holder reserves all rights to the content on the blog and website Little Lessons Learned by Dana, including the right to reproduce, distribute, and display the content. No content or photographs may be reproduced or modified. Blogs may be shared on social media platforms in their entirety only with full credit given to the owner. Any photographs used by other photographers are used with permission and are also protected. All Rights Reserved. Tags: self improvement, growth mindset, work in progress, best self, self improvement tips Photo by Nerene Grobler on Unsplash “Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.” ~ Corrie Ten Boom In we came, dressed in our Sunday best, rocking it out and singing to the very best of our ability the hit song of the day, I’m Forgiven by Christian recording artists, The Imperials. Our group, a youth choir, was called The Soul Survivors and to say that we thought we were “all that” was certainly an understatement. Were we the best singers? Certainly not, but what our group lacked in talent, we sure made up for in confidence and enthusiasm! We even had a “back-up tape” which was a true novelty back then of this latest Christian hit, and we were ready to share the good news! I actually saw the Imperials twice in concert and it was truly memorable and meaningful. I have included I’m Forgiven at the end of this blog for your listening pleasure. Perhaps it will take some of you down memory lane like it did for me. So, I’m Forgiven! What a powerful song title. What a powerful concept. This week in our class Morning Meeting, we discussed the topic of forgiveness. I love these teachable moments, when I can impart some nugget of wisdom to my students on ways to improve their lives using practical tools that will empower them. As our discussion progressed, members of the class were divided on how forgiveness should and should not work. One friend thought in a mutually hurtful situation, that if you forgive someone who has hurt you, then he or she MUST forgive you too because that just wouldn’t be “fair.” As I was gearing up to respond, another very wise little friend said “Guys, you don’t GIVE forgiveness to GET forgiveness, you give forgiveness for your own PEACE. “I couldn’t have said it better myself, and had me thinking, "Are you eight years old or twenty-eight years old, because your mature response just blew me away!"  Photo by Pixabay Key Number One: Forgiving OthersPiggybacking on what he said, I shared with them an effective illustration that I have used in my addictions therapy groups I used to lead as a clinicial social worker. I called it the handcuffs illustration and it is a powerful little skit I would act out to explain what happens to you when you refuse to forgive someone. I explained with the help of a sweet volunteer that if I refused to forgive her it was like her, and I were handcuffed together 24/7. In the past, I had a pair of Dollar store handcuffs from the Halloween display to improve this illustration, but the kids seemed to get what I was trying to say regardless. I explained that she may not even know I am upset with her, yet we go everywhere together because my bitterness and refusal to forgive keeps me chained to her. The only way to separate us is to use the key called forgiveness and break that toxic bond between us. Whether that person deserves it or not, by doing that, we are liberated, and we have given ourselves the gift of freedom. The fact that forgiving someone is extremely difficult or seemingly impossible at times is certainly not lost on me. Some of us have experienced heart-breaking scenarios and severe mistreatment at the hands of others and I am in no way minimizing your pain. Forgiveness takes time and readiness and can be a very complicated process. I recall watching an episode of the Dr. Phil show where the featured guest was detailing years of terrible abuse at the hands of her parents and emphasized how she could not and would not ever forgive them. Dr. Phil then asked “So where are your parents now?" “She quickly replied “They are both deceased.” Dr. Phil, then said something I will never forget. He said “So they are both gone, and you are STILL refusing to forgive them? Truth be told, you are not hurting them; you are only hurting YOURSELF 100%. You gave them your past. How much more of your present life are you going to allow them to have?” Wow! It was like an "Ah-ha" moment for her, yet she still said amongst her tears, “But Dr. Phil, You don't understand! They don’t deserve my forgiveness!” Dr. Phil replied “You are right. They don’t. I agree, but YOU need to do this to move forward.” So true. (Ephesians 4:32 ESV : Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.)  Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash Key Number Two: Forgiving YourselfSometimes the one we need to forgive is ourselves. We can be so hard on ourselves when we make a mistake. We can truly be our worst enemy. I remember a client sharing with me that if I really knew all she had done, there would be no way I would even spend another minute with her. She was in her words “despicable, unforgiveable, and beyond hope.” She even said "I know that God could forgive you, but He could never forgive me. I am too far gone.” Her self description broke my heart. There is NOONE who is despicable, unforgiveable and beyond hope, but she couldn't see it. As I probed a bit further and encouraged her to tell her story, her tears freely flowed as she shared about years of abuse, addiction and a criminal past. She kept looking at the door, expecting me to open it and send her off, but instead I stayed glued to her every word. She was literally stunned! I shared that there is nothing that she could do that is unforgiveable in God’s eyes. He offers His forgiveness to all. It was a lot for her to process, and things took time, but a beautiful journey of self-forgiveness and eventually God’s forgiveness was set in motion that day. Key Number Three: Experiencing God's Forgiveness Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash My Grampa Sudds (my Mom's dad), used to say there are only two kinds of people in this world: sinners and sinners saved by grace. I couldn’t agree more. In the beginning we are the same. We are all born in sin, and we are ALL sinners. We all also have free will. The only thing that truly sets us apart from one another in the end, is that some of us have accepted God’s free gift of salvation which gives us complete forgiveness. Due to this, we are now enjoying a life free of guilt and shame and we can live free from condemnation every day. It is not about being a good person, trying to do enough good things on earth while we are here, or memorizing Bible verses that will get you on the receiving end of God’s grace. It is instead simply by asking for forgiveness and having a desire to make Him the Lord of your life. The Bible says that Christ died for us while we were yet sinners, not when we had tried to clean ourselves up, or committed enough good deeds. His love for us is unconditional. He welcomes us as-is, and that is such a refreshing concept to embrace. (Romans 5: 8-9) Accepting and giving forgiveness can be easy or extremely difficult and complicated for us, depending on the unique circumstances of each scenario. I understand that. I trust that this blog has at least given you something to think about. I know it has given me reminders for sure about this important topic of forgiveness. As always, I welcome an opportunity to continue this conversation with you if you are interested in learning more about embracing forgiveness in your life. I can be reached at [email protected]. Until next time, Dana 1 John 1:9 ESV If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Little Lesson Learned: Refusing to forgive ourselves, others or accept God's forgiveness keeps us in chains. You deserve and need your freedom. Please remember that. To learn more about God's forgiveness and what He thinks about you click here. Tags: spirtual guidance, God's forgiveness, 3 keys to the freedom of forgiveness, Christian blog, Christian blogger, life advice, walking in freedom, forgive yourself, forgive others
Copyright: © 2024 littlelessonslearnedbydana
(Dana Romualdi) Dana Romualdi, the copyright holder reserves all rights to the content on the blog and website Little Lessons Learned by Dana, including the right to reproduce, distribute, and display the content. No content or photographs may be reproduced or modified. Blogs may be shared on social media platforms in their entirety only with full credit given to the owner. Any photographs used by other photographers are used with permission and are also protected. All Rights Reserved. |
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