What 33 Years of Marriage Taught Me: 5 Tips for a Stronger Relationship

11/9/2025

Photo by Emma Bauso at Pexels.com

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times and always with the same person.” Mignon McLaughlin

My husband Phil and I celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary this year. It is hard to believe, as the time has really flown by!

I remember how I first met Phil. I was on summer break from university, desperate for a job and feeling—let’s just say—very lonely. "Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places" could have been my theme song at that time, sadly, I guess. I asked my mom to approach friends of ours, the Romualdi family, to see if I could get a job at their grocery store for the summer. Unfortunately, they did not need summer help, but I was offered—at first, much to my dismay—the job of their housekeeper.

My initial reaction was an absolute “no,” as this was not the type of work I had in mind. After some convincing, my mom got me to give it a try, as she knew the family well and knew that it would be a very positive and pleasant experience with Mrs. Romualdi working right alongside me.

Well, it did end up being a great job. They had a gorgeous home on the lake, and working alongside Mrs. Romualdi, I grew to appreciate and love her dearly. We took many breaks, had great, long chats, and she ALWAYS gave me the more pleasant housekeeping duties—as this is just the type of person she was.

Well, to make a long story short, her son Phil came up often in our many conversations, and one day he came home for lunch while I was working. I guess the rest is history. We hit it off right away. Not only was he incredibly handsome, but he had a wisdom beyond his years, a strong desire to settle down, and a very sweet and sensitive nature I was immediately drawn to. It was like that feeling of I have known you all my life, “yet where have you been all my life?” all at the same time!

Phil was such a breath of fresh air. He lived right down the street from me, but it took me what seemed like an eternity to find him. I am so glad I did, and I know that it was clearly God’s timing and plan for us to meet and marry.

Photo by HT Photography

So this brings me to where I am today, reflecting on 33 years of marriage. We have sure had our ups and downs. I am not an authority on what makes a marriage thrive. Our marriage is not perfect, but in 33 years of marriage, I have certainly learned a thing or two. Some lessons came easy, and others were learned the hard way. Nonetheless, here are my tips on what I have learned throughout the years that helped us to keep our marriage strong.

1. Love your spouse and remember to prioritize him or her

Photo by Little Lessons Learned by Dana

I have always felt loved and valued by Phil. He encourages me daily through his words and actions. He is my biggest fan. Besides writing, I love to sing. He has sat through more concerts of mine than I can count and will clap with gusto, like he has never heard that song before each time. That is something I have always appreciated. Phil and I are intentional with our time and put dates on the calendar for just the two of us. Our adult children are still at home at this time. We are blessed to have them, but must ensure that we get time for just the two of us as well. That is healthy and necessary for any marriage to thrive.

2. Strive to bring out the best in each other

Photo by: Little Lessons Learned by Dana

I have often told Phil that he is the wind beneath my wings, and I really feel that. Phil and I are a great team. In some ways, we are quite opposite, but I think that is why our marriage works. Phil has helped me grow in areas I struggle and has taught me many things, and I feel that I have done the same for him.

It was Phil’s idea that I become a teacher, which I am today. It was not of interest to me originally, as I am a social worker, and at the time I was quite content working at our local library. Phil kept revisiting that notion of me teaching, seeing the potential I could have to use my skill set and really help kids in a powerful and meaningful way. His encouragement and belief in me gave me the courage to leave a profession I enjoyed and head off to teacher’s college on a new and uncertain path. This has been a very positive move for me, and I know I would not be where I am today without Phil’s support.

Listen to each other's heart and be that sounding board and encourager that is needed. It makes such a difference for your relationship. This world is hard enough already. Be that soft place to land for each other.

3. Stick together through the tough times

Photo by Little Lessons Learned by Dana

We have been through many challenges as a couple, like our family business, Phil’s Leamington Foods, being forced to close; several miscarriages; unemployment; deaths in the family of close loved ones; and many career changes. It has not been easy, but through it all, with God at the center of our relationship, we have made it through. Phil has listened to me endlessly talk about heartaches, stressful situations, uncertain scenarios, and depressing topics. Through our struggles, we have offered each other a listening ear, good advice, a kick in the pants if needed, while providing reassurance that neither of us is going anywhere—no matter what we go through.

A true test of marriage is how it stands during the tough times, and it is these tough times that can really make your marriage stronger if you allow it.

4. Have the deep conversations

Photo by Little Lessons Learned by Dana

Sometimes certain topics can feel awkward in your marriage to address, but nothing good comes from avoiding these conversations. There have been many times when both Phil and I had to share our hearts, knowing it would initially hurt the other, but still believing it was necessary. Without honesty, resentment can grow. Without honesty, misunderstanding can exist. Without honesty, a dangerous wedge can begin to grow in your relationship. You do not want these things to happen in your marriage. This is why it is so healthy to clear the air and know what is on each other's heart to keep your relationship moving forward.

5. Keep God at the center of your relationship

Photo by Little Lessons Learned by Dana

This simple statement will help you immensely. We have built our marriage on our relationship with God. He is at the center of all we do individually and as a couple. Phil and I have devotions together, attend church together, and pray with and for each other daily. When a challenge comes up in our lives, we ask God to give us strength and wisdom to handle things in a way that honours Him.

Life is hard, and every marriage can have highs and lows. Knowing that our marriage is built on the firm foundation of Christ has brought us such hope and reassurance through the years.

If this is not a part of your marriage at present, I urge you to invite God into your relationship and see what happens. You will be so very glad you did, I can assure you. You then realize that you are no longer alone as a couple, but instead have every issue covered by the Lord Almighty. How empowering is that?

Every marriage has room for improvement, including mine. Consider this call to action.

Call to Action

Reflect upon these tips and ask yourself what tip you can implement today to make your marriage stronger.
Plan date nights. Put them on the calendar. Do a combo of what you both enjoy or even what only one of you enjoys. Participating in a less preferred activity just because you love your spouse will really speak volumes.
Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This book will really open your eyes about how to love your spouse in a very deep and meaningful way.
Have an honest conversation about how you can improve as a spouse. Trust me. You may not like what you hear, but these conversations are game changers. Leave your ego behind and really hear the heart of the message.

Until next time,
Dana

Copyright: littlelessonslearnedbydana, © 2025

Author

Dana Romualdi is an elementary teacher, social worker, and writer who is passionate about helping others find hope, healing, and growth through life’s challenges. As the creator of Little Lessons Learned by Dana, she shares faith-filled insights and practical wisdom to inspire others to live with purpose and compassion.

Connect with Dana at www.littlelessonsbydana.com.

Tags: marriage, marriage enrichment, 5 love languages, date your spouse, pray together as a couple, date nights, communication, Christian marriage, honesty, perseverance, marriage advice, relationship tips, how to strengthen your marriage, Christian marriage tips, long-lasting marriage, marriage lessons

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The Things We Do For Love

7/14/2024

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Photo by Studio Negarin

"True love is when you know that no matter what happens, you will always choose each other." ~ Unknown

My husband and I had the privilege of attending one of my best friend’s daughter’s wedding this weekend. There was lots of incredible food and engaging conversation, along with many lively musical numbers from the very talented family, and so many memorable moments.

Some moments were heartwarming, some were very funny, some were very touching and some really gave you something to think about.

We had a great time and were so happy to celebrate with the beautiful couple, Hannah and Sean.

One moment that really stood out was something Sean, the groom, said in his speech to Hannah. It is how it made me think, "This one is a keeper."

He shared that he had really expanded his interests and willingness to try new things since meeting Hannah.

He went on to explain that even if he personally didn’t get super excited about the quaint new coffee shop an hour and half away, or the latest musical theater production in town, because Hannah did, he would join her and do those things “for her” with pleasure. This resonated with both my husband and I and we shared with Sean how much we appreciated him sharing that. This is exactly what true love does.

This is such an important quality to have in a strong marriage. The ability to participate in experiences that are not necessarily your "cup of tea" with both a positive attitude and happy heart because your significant other loves those things, is absolutely love in action for your partner.

Believe me this goes a long way in relationships. Relationships are all about give and take and I am so glad this newly married couple have already figured that out. It will sure set them up for success as the years unfold.

Hannah and Sean ~ Photo by: Kayleigh Hayward

I love the Disney movie, Enchanted. In the movie one of my favourite songs is That’s How You Know. In the song it speaks of all the little things someone will do for you when in love such as: write a little love note, dedicate a song to you, send flowers or take you out dancing. There are just certain things that show love in action and the key to a successful marriage is to keep on doing those things no matter how many anniversaries you have celebrated.

Photo by Emmanuel Phaeton on Unsplash

Love in action was also so powerfully demonstrated by our Heavenly Father.

In Romans 5:8 it says: But God proves his love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

God loved us all so much that even in our sinful state, he sent his only son to die on a lonely cross for us. It is hard to fathom why he would do that when we are so incredibly undeserving.

He didn't see it that way. He saw us as so valuable and worthy of redemption. He did this so that we could be forgiven of our sins and enjoy Heaven as our home one day.

If that is not love in action, I sure don’t know what is!

We can follow his example to demonstrate love in action daily for those who are most important to us as well. Truth be told, it is not always easy to do this on our own. We are only human after all.

Whether it is our romantic relationships, or with family members, colleagues, or other significant people in our lives, as people we are not always skilled in this area. We fall short all too often.

With God’s love and acceptance fueling our tanks however, it empowers us to take our loving others to a whole new level, eqipping us to “love God and love people” in the most powerful way possible.

Here's to love in action!

Until next time,
Dana

Lamentations 3:22: The faithful love of the Lord never ends. His mercies never cease.

Little Lesson Learned: When it comes to truly loving others, action really does speak louder than words. Love out loud today!

© 2024, littlelessonslearnedbydana

Author

Dana Romualdi is a Canadian elementary teacher, blogger, author, and speaker. Dana desires to "love God and love people" whole heartedly. She has a passion for helping others and spreading much needed encouragement. Dana lives in Canada with her husband and two grown children. When she is not working in the classroom or blogging, she enjoys drinking coffee, watching Netflix and reading great books.

Tags: marriage, weddings, love, God's love, love in action, actions speak louder than words

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Joy in the Camp: Part 2 of the Joy Series

2/3/2024

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“Joy: the kind of happiness that doesn’t depend on what happens.” ~ David Steindl – Rast Check out part one in this series:
Where Joy Lives here! where-joy-lives.html

Photo by Count Chris on Unsplash

Joy. A small word but a HUGE need for all of us. Joy truly looks different for everyone, but it is something we honestly can’t live without. Several years ago, I was employed by the Salvation Army as the coordinator of their addictions program. Many people would come to us discouraged and downtrodden, burdened with poverty, heartaches and addiction struggles. Our team would do our best to send a little joy their way, giving them help in a tangible way. Whether it was in the form of a warm meal, a listening ear, a referral to a next step program or some much needed food to fill their pantry, we did our best to meet their needs. I recall at that time, despite my quest to lift others’ spirits, I was going through a very hard time of my own. My spirits were at an all-time low. My husband and I, were desperate to start a family, yet had so far only experienced roadblocks and heartbreaks in that department. I remember so vividly when we FINALLY confirmed that our son Tyler was on the way, I could hardly contain my excitement. I had confided my heart’s desire to my amazing boss. He was such a compassionate and godly man and reminded me so much of my dad. He agreed to pray for us daily that our miracle would come. When the day finally came, I raced into his office with my incredible news to share. Teary eyed and speechless, he grabbed a set of old, well-used Salvation Army bells on his desk and started shaking them with unbridled enthusiasm. He then proudly said “Forgive me but, when I don’t know what to say and my heart is so, so full, I just have to let the joy bells ring.” It was such a cute memory and such a special moment between the two of us.

A Joyful Camp

My mom decided to start a mentorship program for young girls several years ago, and sometimes Tyler was invited on special occasions as well as you can see in this picture. The group was for a select handpicked bunch of girls who were very special to her, including my daughter, my little cousins, and daughters of very special friends who felt like family. She affectionally named this group, yes, you guessed it the “Joy Belles.” The goals of this noteworthy little group were two-fold: to offer mentorship and spiritual guidance in a fun atmosphere and to help the girls impact our local community in a positive way. Under my mom’s direction, the girls went many places and completed little meaningful projects together like participating in such things as community and beach cleanups. My mom went out of her way to make these events fun and purposeful, and the Joy Belles so looked forward to these memorable times every few months.

One very memorable Joy Belle event was what my mom creatively named “Camp I – Wanna – Jump – For- Joy.” It was to be the mother of all Joy Belle events, as my mom had pulled out all the stops. This time she had planned an entire weekend of fun, food and fellowship. Step by step, mom’s home and backyard had been lovingly transformed into a summer camp setting, complete with crafts, a tuck shop, cool games, tents, swimming and special activities. Mom enlisted my help with this one, and truth be told, I was thrilled to oblige. I adored my Mom and would do anything for her! Many tents were borrowed to make the event a success, and the girls were giddy with excitement and anticipation. Well, all was well, that is until sleep time. Mom and I couldn’t stop laughing when all the little girls, due to let's say three bugs, some odd noises, and a sprinkling of homesickness refused to sleep in any of the tents. Hello Plan B! We hunkered down sleepover style in our sleeping bags, enjoyed some great pizza and popcorn and giggled until our stomachs ached. Not quite as we had planned, but a great time, nonetheless. Incidentally at Mom's funeral it was very precious to see so many Joy Belles return and pay tribute to the woman they loved so much and had brought them so much joy.

The Joy Belles Today (I love these girls so much!)

Plan B

Life is often like what those little girls experienced in their tents that night. We have such high expectations. We feel our lives are going to go a certain way. We are excited. We are pumped and BOOM, life happens, and nothing is as we thought. Like the Joy Belles we abandon our tents and run for cover, feeling like our joy is lost. But wait! This is not how the story ends! In these times of disappointment, do not lose heart. Joy can still be found in Plan B. Keep an open mind and believe that implementing Plan B in your life can be a wonderful thing. Plan B sometimes even ends up being the best plan of all. It is the one you didn’t really see coming, but surprisingly, just what you needed all the while.

Keeping Joy In Your Camp

Photo by Fernando Andrade on Unsplash

So how do you keep joy in your camp when things go astray? First, focus on what you do have rather than what you don’t. Make a gratitude list and list things big and small that make you feel blessed each day. There really is so much we often take for granted. Make sure you embrace flexibility and have a good attitude. Find joy in the little things and take the time to really enjoy them.

During the pandemic on Pizza Days and other food days my students had to eat in shifts in the classroom, in an effort to minimize large groups without masks. This left at least half the class masked at any given time. One Pizza Day a little girl was sobbing when I returned after lunch. She had been so excited that it was Pizza Day, so I just didn’t quite understand. She explained in tears. “I got my pizza, but I didn’t get to enjoy it!” I completely got what she was saying as she felt pressured by the time restraints and eating in shifts rule. Her statement resonated with me in a different way, however. She had still gotten her heart’s desire but had not really enjoyed it. There's a life lesson here for sure. That often happens to us. Sometimes circumstances are to blame, but sometimes it is us who are the problem. Maybe our attitude needs to change, or we just need to slow down and really live in the moment for once. Finding gratitude every day keeps a steady supply of joy streaming. Every day when we wake up we should have joy to be blessed with the gift of a new day, as many are not that fortunate.

Well, that is it for now my friend. I wish you "joy in your camp to the fullest!"

Until next time,
Dana

Romans 13:15 NIV
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Little Lesson Learned: Joy can be found in the most unexpected places. Don’t forget that.

P.S. : One more thing as well, always enjoy the pizza!! :)

Copyright © 2024 littlelessonslearnedbydana
(Dana Romualdi)
Dana Romualdi, the copyright holder reserves all rights to the content on the blog and website Little Lessons Learned by Dana, including the right to reproduce, distribute, and display the content. No content or photographs may be reproduced or modified. Blogs may be shared on social media platforms in their entirety only with full credit given to the owner. Any photographs used by other photographers are used with permission and are also protected. All Rights Reserved.

Tags: life lessons, joy, happiness, self improvement, spiritual guidance, growth mindset, encouragement, Christian blog, life advice, Christian blogger, spiritual growth, grief and loss, grief counseling, bereavement help, life skills

Author

Dana Romualdi is a Canadian elementary teacher, social worker, blogger, author, motivational speaker and recording artist. She has a passion for helping others and spreading much-needed encouragement. She lives in Canada with her husband and two grown children. When she is not working in the classroom or blogging, she enjoys drinking coffee, watching Netflix and reading great books.

Feel free to reach out to Dana
at: [email protected]

The joys of my life: Tyler and Shannon, now 25 and 28.

Click here for Where Joy Lives Part One in the Joy Series

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What 33 Years of Marriage Taught Me: 5 Tips for a Stronger Relationship

1. Love your spouse and remember to prioritize him or her

2. Strive to bring out the best in each other

3. Stick together through the tough times

4. Have the deep conversations

5. Keep God at the center of your relationship

Want to hear more from Dana?

Author

Connect with Dana at www.littlelessonsbydana.com.

The Things We Do For Love

Author

Tags: marriage, weddings, love, God's love, love in action, actions speak louder than words

Joy in the Camp: Part 2 of the Joy Series

“Joy: the kind of happiness that doesn’t depend on what happens.” ~ David Steindl – Rast Check out part one in this series:
Where Joy Lives here! where-joy-lives.html

A Joyful Camp

The Joy Belles Today (I love these girls so much!)

Plan B

Keeping Joy In Your Camp

Tags: life lessons, joy, happiness, self improvement, spiritual guidance, growth mindset, encouragement, Christian blog, life advice, Christian blogger, spiritual growth, grief and loss, grief counseling, bereavement help, life skills

Author

Categories

Archives

What 33 Years of Marriage Taught Me: 5 Tips for a Stronger Relationship

1. Love your spouse and remember to prioritize him or her

2. Strive to bring out the best in each other

3. Stick together through the tough times

4. Have the deep conversations

5. Keep God at the center of your relationship

Want to hear more from Dana?

Author

Connect with Dana at www.littlelessonsbydana.com.

The Things We Do For Love

Author

Tags: marriage, weddings, love, God's love, love in action, actions speak louder than words

Joy in the Camp: Part 2 of the Joy Series

“Joy: the kind of happiness that doesn’t depend on what happens.” ~ David Steindl – Rast Check out part one in this series: ​Where Joy Lives here! where-joy-lives.html

A Joyful Camp

The Joy Belles Today (I love these girls so much!)

Plan B

Keeping Joy In Your Camp

Tags: life lessons, joy, happiness, self improvement, spiritual guidance, growth mindset, encouragement, Christian blog, life advice, Christian blogger, spiritual growth, grief and loss, grief counseling, bereavement help, life skills

Author

Categories

Archives

“Joy: the kind of happiness that doesn’t depend on what happens.” ~ David Steindl – Rast Check out part one in this series:
Where Joy Lives here! where-joy-lives.html