I had had a very difficult and stressful week.  Quite honestly I was having great trouble that Monday morning to find the motivation to face the day with a smile, never mind muster up the boundless energy one needs to face a room full of enthusiastic, eight year olds. On my way to work, I desperately prayed “Lord, I just need SOME encouragement today to keep me going. Please send it in some form. Amen.” I sure have a great God who loves me because within the first hour of school not only was I the recipient of one random act of kindness, but three! First my good friend mentioned she had left me a “treat,” on my desk which was her amazing, homemade hummus. Next a generous parent brought in oodles of Tim Horton’s bagels and doughnuts for the entire staff just to show her appreciation, and finally another very kind parent wrote me a touching, personal note to thank me for making her daughter feel so special on her birthday. All I could say was “Wow!” A simple prayer was answered so quickly and left me feeling very encouraged, loved and ready to seize the busy, yet wonderful day.

Last month I had forgotten to hand out Good News Tickets to my class. It broke my heart at assembly when I saw them with fingers crossed hoping to win the school Good News Ticket draw. Sadly with no tickets in the bin, from their forgetful teacher, their hopes were utterly useless. Not my most proud teaching moment that is for sure. To redeem myself, this month I got a hold of as many Good News Tickets I could find and started handing them out for anything and everything positive I saw. Not only did it give them lots of chances to win the monthly draw for Pizza with the Principal, but it really put a positive spirit and excitement in the classroom. Kids were doing great things and it was being noticed and validated. I was so happy this month when two names from my class were drawn as winners. The kids were so happy for their lucky classmates and it showed how a little thing can really make a big and powerful difference.

I have been guilty of underestimating the power of a small act of kindness in the past. Often I have felt that it was not significant enough to make an impact. On the contrary though like the way I was feeling that Monday morning, a simple gesture could be just what a person needs to keep on keeping on.  I have told the comical story often of when my kids were very little and I was having an “overwhelmed mommy” moment. I said to Tyler, “Mommy needs Gramma to come today, but she’s not answering her phone. Let’s pray that I can reach her and she will come.” So together we did just that. I prayed “Dear God, Mommy is having a rough day. Please send Gramma to help me. Amen” No word of a lie as soon as I said “Amen,” my mom burst through the door with a warm and enthusiastic “Hello!” (Oh, how I love that woman.) Tyler said “Wow Mom! Your prayer really worked! It was so cool. I felt like she was Mrs. Doubtfire here to say “Help is on the way dear!”  Proof that God hears our prayers once again and wants to send people and circumstances into our lives to keep us moving forward. Not always are prayers answered that quickly obviously, but sometimes they are and it is really amazing.

Little kind gestures carry a powerful impact. We have the power to make or break someone’s day by our simple actions. Actions do speak louder than words and people remember that. Everyone needs someone to sing their praises every now and then. As Christians we are called upon to love as Christ did and be the example He set to bless others. The amazing thing is when we are a blessing to others, we cannot help but be blessed in return. It is such an edifying experience. Years ago, in my social work job I had a client who was really struggling in many aspects including financially. He shared that times were so tough, he could not even afford a coffee and muffin from Tim Horton’s. As fate would have it, it was “Roll up the Rim” season at Tim Horton’s and I had just won a free coffee and muffin. I gave him my winning cups and proudly said “Today is your lucky day my friend. Here is a coffee and muffin on me.” He actually broke down and cried sharing that I had no way of knowing how much that small gesture meant to him. Later on when I was leaving to have my baby Tyler, he came in grinning ear to ear with a special gift for me. It was clear he could hardly contain his excitement. He stated “I will never forget all you have done for me, and I will always recall the free coffee and muffin scenario fondly. I had my mom knit a baby blanket for your new baby.  I hope you will like it and always think of me when you see it.” O.k. now it was my turn to cry. It was absolutely beautiful and I have kept it to this day for Tyler to have as a keepsake and maybe use for a child of his own one day. It is true what you give out you get back in return. Sometimes it takes time, and amazingly sometimes it comes back very quickly.

I have several great people who I seek out when I am down and their gift to me among other things is their positive presence. Just the act of being by my side and listening without judgement as I share my heart, lifts my spirits incredibly. Some may see it as a little thing, but truly it is not.

We all have incredible gifts to share with others which is what makes us all so interesting. Your gifts are not mine and vice versa but that is so worth celebrating. This is why we all need each other so much. A listening ear, a Good News Ticket, or a free coffee and muffin can have a very big impact when given at the right time. As we strive to be sensitive to what others need or don’t need, we can become instruments of healing and hope. That is an amazing thing to strive for. Remember little things do mean a lot especially when people see the love behind them.

Until next time,
~ Dana

Matthew 10:42 ~ And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded.

Little Lesson Learned: It is often the smallest gestures that have the biggest and most lasting impact.
Copyright: littlelessonslearnedbydana, 2015

This was the week. In they came with new haircuts, fancy outfits, complicated and cool hairstyles and big, wide toothless grins. Ah yes! It is school picture day. Always an exciting day for the kids and always a big concern for me of how to ensure that 20 plus kids keep themselves neat and tidy, free of such things as grass stains, Kool- Aid moustaches or chocolate pudding smears at least until their pictures are taken.

I recall a humorous episode of the Arthur cartoon about school pictures. Francine who is quite a tomboy with the help of Muffy who is a little fashionista, gets a complete makeover for school picture day. It is quite uncomfortable for her and definitely not what she is used to. Unfortunately it takes so long in the school day to get her picture done that by the time she finally says “Cheese,” she looks like a complete, hot mess! I frequently use her as an example as my students are very familiar with the Arthur series and we always have a good chuckle over it. Also in the book David Goes to School by David Shannon, it shows David goofing off in the class picture and how bad it looks in the end. This is a great visual of what not to do for sure.

I guess one little boy did not get that memo apparently. I remember it so well. He was a very sweet little boy and he came to school on class picture day dressed in a suit with his hair all perfectly spiked up with gel. He looked so handsome, just like a little ring bearer and many of the little girls were absolutely swooning. Unfortunately for him though, one of his classmates came up with the plan that when the photographer said to “Say Cheese,” they were going to do their goofiest face ever. I was not aware of this plan until the class picture arrived. When the class pictures were passed out the boy was clearly mortified and asked if we could do a retake of the class picture. Retakes are common, but only for individual pictures. His parents were so understanding about it and shared that a great life lesson had taken place for him of what not to do next time. They also shared about first impressions and how sadly that picture did not tell the story of who he really was, (a fun and fantastic kid) but clearly gave those who did not know him the wrong impression. The picture does not always tell the true story and that was surely the case here. Poor little guy. A hard lesson to learn for sure.

It is easy to jump to conclusions about people when we only see part of the picture. A good friend told me about a recent incident with her daughter that was a real eye opener. All of a sudden her young daughter was really interested in helping out around the house and do chores. Then only condition was she was expecting to be paid for everything she did. At first my friend thought at least her initiative was commendable, yet on further thought my friend was very annoyed by her daughter’s apparent selfishness. In exasperation she finally said “Life is not like that! You do not get paid for everything! You should just help out around here period, not just for money!” Her daughter burst into tears apologetically saying “I’m so sorry! I just wanted to save up enough money to get you something really special for Mother’s Day!” Oh great! My poor friend felt terrible.
 
We sometimes do not get a clear picture of who we are as well. The lens we use to look at ourselves is at times distorted and critical. I remember a very profound sermon I heard at a youth meeting one year. It was about finding our true purpose in life. The speaker spoke words I will never forget. He shared that God created a purpose first, and then created YOU to fulfill it! Never once did He do it the other way around and never once did God struggle and say “Oh great! I have no idea what to do with this one!” I was so encouraged by that and hid that seed in my heart that even at a young age I was fulfilling a deep purpose on earth for the Almighty God. A very cool thought to ponder indeed.

Every day we make judgements about others and judgements about ourselves. Many are accurate yet many may not be. A class picture tells nothing of how unique, funny, smart, creative and irreplaceable each child is. It doesn’t give a true picture of who that little group is. It is just a snapshot in time. It takes time to get to know the kids and it takes time to get to know each other.

People are worth the investment. We need each other. Relationships take time to develop but are so needed in life. We learn such cool things about each other that we would never have known had we not taken the time. We sometimes think we know someone, yet others have so much to teach us.

I read of a new pastor who wanted to see how loving and gracious his new congregation was. He went to church that morning dressed as a homeless man. He was treated terribly and asked to sit in the back even though he requested a front row seat. Time after time, the people there treated him with total disrespect as they anxiously awaited the arrival of their new pastor. When it came time to announce the new pastor and have him come on the stage, imagine the shock and feelings of disbelief when the homeless man came forward. A clever experiment taught them something. We do not always see the true picture and can be so quick to judge.

We are all guilty of this at times. We judge ourselves and others without knowing the full story. Why do we do that? We can be missing out on a wonderful friend that God has placed in our lives or we could be robbing ourselves of great opportunities. God sees a true picture of who we really are. Let’s strive to be more like Him. He sees us as His child, unique and dearly loved. He sees someone worth dying for. He sees in each one of us a precious and unique creation. I love the quote “Please be patient. God is not finished with me yet.” This is true of us all.  We are a wonderful work in progress and one day if we are willing, we will see the true picture, seeing ourselves and others the way God sees us. The true picture is a beautiful one. Focus on that.

Until next time,
~ Dana

Mathew 10:30 But even the hairs on your head are numbered. (That’s love!)

Little Lesson Learned: Take time to invest in people and really get a true picture of who they are. We are God’s most amazing creation and we have lots to offer each other.

Copyright: littlelessonslearnedbydana, 2015

October is here and in Canada that means that Thanksgiving is also just around the corner. We truly have so much to be thankful for, don't we? I remember Thanksgiving time fondly as a child. My mom would always host it, as she still does today. True to form, she would spare no expense to make sure the feast, fun and fall décor was second to none. It is a beautiful time of year and always a great time to reflect on what we are most thankful for. When chatting with friends this week about Thanksgiving plans, I shared about one Thanksgiving memory however, that I was not very thankful for that is certain! As fate would have it, it was decided that I would host Thanksgiving that year for the first time ever. To say I was stressed out was an understatement. Although my mom assured me that cooking a turkey was really quite easy, I was not convinced. She went with me to the grocery store to pick out the perfect bird and suggested that I make my first turkey cooking experience an easier one. She encouraged me to get a “cook from frozen” turkey as it would spare the lengthy thawing time and I could just pop it in the oven and be done with it. That sounded like a wonderful idea! (to me anyway) My husband who managed a grocery store at that time thought I was crazy! He said “There is no such thing as a cook from frozen turkey. It does not exist!” I assured him it was new and it definitely did exist, because I had just proudly purchased one. Truth be told, I was feeling very proud of myself and actually more confident that I just might pull this off. You know... "I am woman. Hear me roar!" Well Thanksgiving Day dawned and I was up bright and early to get that bad boy in the oven and get the house festively decorated. As I took off the plastic wrap from the turkey to my horror two words glared back at me like a neon sign of torture… THAWING INSTRUCTIONS! I thought this is not possible. I had specifically purchased a “cook from frozen” turkey!! I showed my husband as I began to cry and ask “What am I to do now?” He  reminded me several times that he had told me so, yet before we knew it we raced off in desperation to his mom’s house, frozen bird in hand to see what we could do. Don’t ask me why but it appears he thought that she could be the “bird whisperer” and perform some type of frozen turkey miracle thaw, but that was clearly not happening! We went to my mom’s house next and she was just as confused as I was! She KNEW she had picked out a “cook from frozen” turkey! All we could figure was in our quest for the perfect bird, our eyes caught one a bit better and switched it. What we did not realize was that the turkeys that were “cook from frozen” and those that required thawing were mixed in together. What was I to do? This was my first crack at hosting Thanksgiving dinner and it was already a huge disaster. Right away as all stores were closed Phil announced “Get on the phone and call everyone! Thanksgiving is cancelled this year!” I knew I couldn’t do that and as per usual my mom once again came to my rescue. Did I mention how thankful I am for that amazing woman? As fate would have it my mom had two large, lovely hams in her freezer. We quickly decided to break tradition and serve ham instead of turkey that year, and all in all it was a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner after all. It just had a very stressful start. My mom even went back to the store and explained the whole stressful scenario, returned the turkey and got a “cook from frozen” one (which does exist Phil) which we enjoyed at a later date. Way to go mom! You rock! A funny story now but not so much at the time!

My daughter was setting up for her work last week for their Thanksgiving feast at a retirement home. As a perk for working there and helping get the meal ready she was promised a Thanksgiving meal with all the fixings. As she reviewed the menu with me my mouth was watering and she was so excited. Well somehow in all the excitement through no fault other than lack of communication, no meal was left for her. In fact there was nothing left at all. Talk about disappointing. Instead of a turkey dinner, she went home and made herself some toast. I promised I would make it up to her and pick her something up better later that evening as I do try to carry on the tradition my mom started of coming to the rescue!

Oh life is like that sometimes! We plan for something and then it doesn’t happen.  My stories are very minor, but even little things like this when they accumulate can really get you down. Despite the crazy ups and downs of life there is one thing that I am very sure of. When it comes to my life, it is certainly a good one! I truly have nothing to complain about. I have so many blessings I do not even know where to start, but I will try. First I have a wonderful Heavenly Father who loves me unconditionally and has given me gifts that I am able to share with the world that I am very grateful for. Next I have an amazing family, wonderful friends and supportive colleagues. I have a beautiful home, money in the bank, a warm bed, food on my table, a car to get me from Point A to B, my health and a rewarding career even despite the fact that right now we are in a legal strike position. Much of what I have just shared are basic necessities, yet many people do not have them. I do not take what I have for granted and I realize that that could all change at any given time. Life is uncertain at best, but I want to celebrate while I can. Life is never perfect, but it can still be good,

My daughter and I love the movie The Fault in Our Stars. We have watched it over and over. The storyline involves two young people who fall in love named Augustus Waters and Hazel Grace Lancaster. Both are fighting cancer and met in a support group for those dealing with cancer and its side effects. Despite the somewhat sad background story, the movie is often quite lighthearted and funny and shows them enjoying their perfectly imperfect life. Throughout the movie, even at the most saddest points Augustus is known to say with a twinkle in his eye “It’s a good life, Hazel Grace!” That always touched me as it really reminded me of the value of grabbing what is good in life and celebrating it no matter what else comes with it. They had an incredible relationship and despite the uncertainty of their illnesses and treatments they lived their lives to the fullest.

I want to be a person like that. I want to leave a legacy of someone who lived a good life in all the right ways. Perspective is everything. So maybe you have ham instead of turkey or a Tim Horton’s sandwich instead of a full turkey spread, so what! You still have more than many and you are truly blessed. I wrote a little poem that my students learned at school this week called
“A Thankful Heart” It goes like this:
I want to have a thankful heart,
For I have MANY things,
Like clothes and food and friends and toys,
We call all these BLESSINGS!
I will not whine or complain,
For in Canada we are blessed,
I will have a thankful heart
For a thankful heart is best!
 
A thankful heart is truly best. It is always better to focus on what you do have and not what you don’t. Even writing this blog has helped me to be reminded of what I have to be grateful for. It’s a good life we have. Don’t you agree?

Until Next Time,
~ Dana

1 Chornicles 16:34 ~ Give thanks to the Lord for he is good. His love endures forever!

Little Lesson Learned: Our lives may be less than perfect, but we are still blessed to have what we do have.

Copyright: littlelessonslearnedbydana, 2015

“I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do
interfere with what I can do.”
~ Edward Everett Hale

It was with great shock and sadness that I learned this week of yet another school shooting on a college campus in Roseburg, Oregon. I cannot even fathom the pain and heartbreak these families are experiencing. I am sure this day dawned like any other, with these young people heading off to school, full of promise eager to pursue another day of learning in a field of their academic choosing.  While reading the profiles of these nine individuals, I could sense their passion for life and clear direction for their promising futures.  It is so hard to process that their hopes and dreams will not transpire. One was a professor on campus. One had dreams of becoming a pediatric nurse and another was one of quadruplets just to name a few. These people had families, dreams, goals and visions. They mattered so much to so many and now they are just,  gone.  I imagine if this horrific scenario involved my son Tyler and daughter Shannon and my heart breaks as all these students were someone’s precious child. You also hear of the heroes who arose through the trial and helped in any way they could. These are the small rays of sunshine in the dark and gloomy landscape of great despair.

Earlier this month I read of three young children in Toronto and their grandfather who were sadly killed by a drunk driver in a terrible car crash. The heroic emergency crews, rushed to the accident site eager to assist the wounded, yet much to their dismay it was already too late. The scene was so horrific I am told through the news that eight out of the fifteen paramedics at the scene are currently on medical leave suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder due to what they witnessed. I imagine if it was my young students being involved in this accident and my mind is deeply troubled as this destroyed an entire family and these kids were some teacher’s students somewhere. 

Today I heard of a beautiful and loving local family who lost their husband and father suddenly and I am overwhelmed with grief for them. Sadness and sorrow are all around us and at times it is very difficult to know how to help and where to even start. We are desperate for positive news, yet sometimes it is in short supply. We want to be that hero to others, yet realize we are only one person.  As overwhelming as it may seem remember that even one willing person can still make a powerful difference. 

We will often be in the right place at the right time to be a blessing to others. I have learned in the wake of such tragedies to pray for wisdom on how we can best assist others to be a very helpful strategy. Sometimes a hug, timely gesture or even our silent presence may be exactly what that person needs to make it through another day. I often struggle with feelings of inadequacy in the face of profound grief. It is during those times however that I have seen amazing opportunities arise if I will be bold and follow God’s leading.

I recall one evening in the fall last year at the University of Windsor where I had a unique encounter, a divine appointment if you will, with a truly needy soul. Every Tuesday I would accompany my son to the university for company and while he sat in class I would either do one of two things: mark my students’ work, or work on my weekly blog. On this particular evening just before I sat down to settle in to work, I went to the washroom and suddenly noticed something very troubling. I could hear muffled sobs, sniffling and could see feet pacing back and forth in the large stall. Immediately I was drawn to this woman and felt a deep desire to know what was so upsetting. Lingering for a long time, I was greatly disappointed that she did not come out. I went in and out of the washroom several times and yet she was still there. Finally after quite some time and when the washroom was empty besides her and I, I boldly said “Excuse me miss, but are you o.k.?” She weakly replied “I’m fine.” I then said “I don’t mean to pry but I can tell you have been crying and you have been in there a long time. I know you are in some type of distress and I just want you to know I care. I am a mom and I am reaching out to you as if you were my own child. I am here for you if you would like to talk.” She said “Thank you, but I am fine.” (Clearly, she was not.) I then went on to say “I won’t pretend to know what you are going through, but I want you to know that you are strong, capable and you will get through this! I also want you to know that I will be praying for you!” She again said “Thank you! Thank you!” as she cried. Waiting for a minute, I sensed that was to be the extent of our time together, and I quietly left the washroom. Never did I ever see her in person, but I pray that my words and actions touched her spirit that night. I pray that God used me to help her see in some way that there are no problems too serious that cannot be solved and that someone truly cared about her.

Opportunities will arise when we feel led to help others, yet we may feel uncomfortable. I did that night in the washroom.  We don’t want to say or do the wrong thing, so we hesitate. This has happened to me in the past and I have lived to regret it. My mom always said “You will never go wrong when being kind.” I have tried to live by those wise words and use them to guide me to help others. Where we may feel inadequate or unsure, we may be just the one  that helps that needy person that day like my experience with the young girl in the washroom.

I have always had a heart for grieving kids and a deep desire to help them. It was through that desire that my book Magic Kisses came about. It is a story about eight year old Molly and how she deals with the death of her father and how their family finds hope and healing after his death. Many times I struggled with how to bring this book to life. Many times I doubted it would ever be a reality, but now that it is published it is being used as a tool to help others and I am so humbled and grateful.

Sometimes we underestimate ourselves. We think someone else would do a better job at this or someone else would have a better word of comfort or encouragement for a particular person. I know I have been that doubter. Through the years though I have learned that when we pray to be a blessing to someone, God will give us the courage and the words to be a genuine help to others, even when we feel like we have nothing to offer.

There is so much heartache and tragedy, but there is so much good in this world as well. We need to bring that message of hope and healing to each other. The need is so great and knowing where to start can be a daunting task, but all it takes is starting with that first critical step. Believe in yourself and your ability to share your heart with someone and let him or her know that you care about what is going on in his or her life.  I remember in a recent sermon at church our pastor suggested this simple phrase to truly help others. He shared to acknowledge what others are going through and ask “What can I do to help?” It lets them know that you care and are willing to take action to make their situations better. You may be one person, but with an open heart you can make a big difference, one person at a time.

Until next time,
 ~ Dana

2 Corinthians 1:4:  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

Little Lesson Learned: Sometimes one willing soul is all that is needed to make a profound impact on another.

Copyright: littlelessonslearnedbydana, 2015