The Highs and Lows of Bathing Suit Season

Photo by RDNE Stock project

"Confidence isn't walking into a room with your nose in the air, and thinking you are better than anyone else. It's walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone in the first place." @Lifehack

​I recall a situation years ago when my then teenage son came along with me to do some errands. As a teenage boy, I am sure it was the "thrill of his life" to run errands with his dear old mom, but to add insult to injury on the list of things to pick up with the bottled water and toilet paper was yes wait for it people … a new bathing suit for me!

Ugh! Just thinking about this upcoming purchase was causing me great stress and believe me it had nothing to do with my son coming along. I debated about postponing the bathing suit ordeal, yet I knew my son is cool about that sort of thing, so I went for it.

I am a blessed woman because not only did he not object, but he even gave his opinion on the various suits I tried on. I would say I have a son who is an excellent sport and off to a great start of being a compassionate and patient husband one day!  

Photo by Pixabay

Well ladies, I am sure I am not alone in my feelings here. It is not a fun experience to try on bathing suits at my age I can tell you. After two kids, three abdominal surgeries and being in my mid-fifties, what often looks huge on the rack, seems to magically shrink in the change room. Tell me I am not alone here ladies!

I find myself almost every time behind closed doors mortified trying to squish my body into what seems like the swimsuits from hell.  Then to make matters worse, I have the "pleasure" of viewing myself from every angle with the full body mirrors. Oh, that’s lots of fun, I tell ya!

I usually feel like the judges from American Idol with each and every one. You know the standard line “Ah, it’s a NO from me!”

Funny though, by some divine miracle I did end up finding not one, but two suits that actually looked decent on me, so I did what any self-respecting woman of my age would do. I bought them both because at my age, you just never know when you will find another suit that looks good on you again. True story!

Photo by SHVETS production

There is so much pressure all around us for women to look good. We fuss over our hair, our weight, our skin and our wardrobe just to name a few. This list goes on and on.

I remember even when I was in my early 20’s about to be married, I put great pressure on myself in this area. Weighing about 125 lbs, and in great physical shape, I drank Slimfast shakes faithfully to hopefully shed a few unwanted pounds before the “big day.”

In hindsight I see how unnecessary that was for me at that life stage, but at the time I could not see it.

In university, I participated in a psychology study that left a lasting impact on me. To say it was an eye-opener was an understatement.

When I arrived for the assignment, the grad student was flustered and clearly unprepared for me. She apologetically asked me to take a seat and encouraged me to look at some fashion magazines while she got ready.

In a few minutes she announced that she was ready. She asked me if I felt that I had any body image, self-esteem, or weight issues. I answered “absolutely not,” as I clearly did not really feel I had any of those.

She then had me stand in front of a screen and I am not sure how she did it, but just like those crazy fun house mirrors, she morphed my image to look as flat as a pancake. It was very humorous, as I looked like a paper doll. Flat Stanley had NOTHING on me.

She then instructed that as she had obviously made me very paper thin, she would gradually morph my image to what I really looked like. I was instructed to tell her to stop when she reached the “real me, “ in my opinion, which I did.

Next, she did the opposite. She started with a very obese version of myself that was very difficult to witness and kept making me smaller.

Too bad that did not exist in real life! I was instructed to tell her to stop when I thought she reached what I would feel would be my "ideal" weight. It was to be the me on the screen where I would feel beautiful and satisfied, and so I did.

That was it and then we sat down to talk. What she proceeded to tell me next has impacted me ever since. First of all, she said the magazine viewing was not to fill time, but a planned part of the experiment. It was to fill my head with what society deemed as "beautiful."

Next, she said that what I perceived as the “real me” was about 30-40 lbs over my real weight and my “ideal” me would be very anorexic if that was actually me.

I was shocked because for someone who did not think I had any body image issues, this was a very enlightening experience.

​Often, I have shared this encounter to make people aware of the fact that even when we think we are not affected by the world’s view of beauty, we sadly often are. 

Photo by JavierCapturesTheWorld

Even young girls feel this pressure to look a certain way. I teach eight-year-old students. I remember doing a lesson on new year’s resolutions. We discussed many options for them to consider of what would be a good new year's goal for someone their age and I can assure you that weight loss was not one of them.

When each was asked to share individually what goal he or she had selected as the most important, one little girl said her goal was to "lose weight."

It broke my heart that at that age that was the most important new year’s resolution she could come up with.

I jumped in and explained as children are always growing and changing, it would be more appropriate to say as a goal, “I would like to become more physically fit.”

​She was content with that, and it made we feel better as eight years of age is just too young to be fixated on a weight issue.

The Bible says that “man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” ( 1 Samuel 16:7) We can be so hard on ourselves as women and people in general. It is not wrong to want to look nice, but when too much emphasis is put in this area, great problems can result.

Focusing on our inner qualities is just as important, yet we often fail to realize this. Inner beauty is in God’s opinion what he truly values. God looks at us through a loving father’s eyes. He does not see a flawed, mediocre person, who is unworthy of love and acceptance as he or she is.

Instead, he sees a unique and amazing person that he created with a calling and specific purpose. He looks down and says “That’s my kid!”  I love what author Max Lucado says. He says “If God had a refrigerator your picture would be on it. If he had a wallet, your picture would be in it." Face it friend he’s absolutely crazy about you!”

Every one of us is so unique and special. We need to stop looking at the world’s measure and standard of beauty and look at what God says about us. He cares so deeply for each one of us and longs to have a relationship with each one of us.

He desires a friendship with us, to love on us and reveal his unique will for each of our lives.

See yourself the way you were meant to be seen, as the truly special and beautiful person you are. Don’t look at the photoshopped versions of perfection, because you like all of us, will always fall short.

Focus on who you are, not on who you are not. We all have room for improvement, yet we all have amazing qualities too.

Next time you look in the mirror, let it truly sink in that you are incredible and that the world has become a much brighter place simply because you are in it! Self improvement strategies are wonderful, but let’s not lose sight of who we really are.

Here’s to the beautiful person you are no matter what you are wearing, even though I know you are going to ROCK that bathing suit!

Until next time,
~ Dana

Psalms 18:19 NCV - Because he delights in me, he saved me. 

Little Lesson Learned: See yourself the way God does. You’re perfect through his eyes of love!

Author

​Dana Romualdi is a Canadian elementary teacher, social worker, blogger, author, and speaker. She has a passion for helping others and spreading much-needed encouragement. She lives in Canada with her husband and two grown children. When she is not working in the classroom or blogging, she enjoys drinking coffee, watching Netflix and reading great books.

Tags: self esteem, self worth, see yourself in God's eyes, you are valuable

Copyright: © 2024 littlelessonslearnedbydana, 2nd edition, 2014 first edition (Bathing Suit Season)