 Photo: Freepik.com "Wisdom is not a product of schooling, but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it." ~ Albert Einstein When I was younger, I used to enjoy reading advice columns in our local papers. One interesting piece I would often ponder was that, quite often, the writer already knew the answer to his or her dilemma. Perhaps simply a new perspective or validation was what the writer was seeking. Each case is different, but seeking wisdom on how to respond to various situations is certainly commendable. Early in my career journey, I was employed as a social worker at the Salvation Army. In this role, I counseled people who were in the strongholds of, or in recovery from, drug and alcohol addiction. Week after week, I imparted advice and strategies to clients, seeking to empower them to overcome their serious issues with substances. I was invested in their recovery and partnered with them to see their lives changed for the better. Through this experience, and my many years as a teacher, I have gathered insights about wisdom that I would like to share. Let’s dig a little deeper together. Wisdom Listens Before It Speaks Photo: Freepik.com Before we can truly help someone, we need to attentively listen to their story and get a good handle on what the situation is and where the problems lie. Jumping into problem-solving prematurely is very counterproductive to both the speaker and the listener. It opens us up to misunderstanding and frustration if it feels that what someone is saying to us is not being understood. Wise people listen well and share guidance at the appropriate time. There are times when listening only could be the best option. People are at different stages of needing help, so being very sensitive to people sharing their hearts is essential. I have been blessed to have several people share parts of their story with me that they have never shared with anyone. I feel honoured that they trust me and want to always maintain an atmosphere of comfort and safety so they can share freely. Listening with our hearts, not just our ears, does that. Wise People Apply What They Hear Photo: Freepik.com The most productive people do more than just listen to great advice. They actually take it to heart and apply it to their lives. Decision-making can be challenging. Seeking input from others who have walked a similar path to you can be so helpful. They can share their success tips and help you avoid pitfalls they experienced. When seeking wisdom from others, be very open-minded and attentive. Expect to acquire tools that will empower you to take positive steps to change your life. Actions speak louder than words. Just listening to advice does nothing to move the needle for your problem-solving. Take messy action. Take the first step. You do not have to do everything perfectly. Many aspects of life change are works in progress. Believe in yourself. You are not confused. You are figuring this out little by little, and you can do it! Counsel Is Meant to Refine Us, Not Just Comfort Us Photo: Freepik.com When seeking counsel, envision yourself on the other side of your struggles. It is a very powerful visualization strategy. I would often tell my friends and clients that I would chat with that someday the challenges they are experiencing will one day be an inspiration to others. At times they found this hard to believe but time after time this was the case if they were willing to do the hard work needed. People can rise above their struggles and be a role model to others. When seeking advice and wisdom from others, be very proactive in your approach. Believe that this process will really change you and your situations from this day forward. Wisdom requires teachability. Seek wise counsel and soak up what they have to share with you. Go with a notepad and pen and record the strategies you will use. Be accountable. Check back with updates and record your progress. Trust me. When you are serious about change, your story will be a beacon of hope for others someday. Call to action:
Until next time, Dana
Tags: wisdom, life lessons, personal growth, advice, listening skills, problem solving, decision making, social work, recovery, mentorship, self improvement, empowerment, teachability, guidance, personal development, motivation, growth mindset, positive changeCopyright: littlelessonslearnedbydana, © 2025
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 Photo by Nubia Navarro at Pexels.com “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” When we think of gifts that money can't buy, integrity may not be something that comes immediately to mind. Integrity is not something that you can see, but it is something that speaks volumes about a person. It is the reputation that a person has established. It is the ability to live your life with honour and respect, choosing to do the correct thing even when it is not in the public eye. My parents taught me the value of integrity from an early age. I can remember many times where they would let a salesperson know that they were given too much change, or they would go the extra mile with any and all tasks they were given. My mom had a quote she would always say, which was, “Any job worth doing is worth doing right.” Both her and my dad prided themselves in being the kind of people who would move Heaven and Earth to be there for people in their time of need. They even had a name for their missions work called Through the Roof Ministries. It was based on the Bible story where a group of believers lowered their friend through a roof to access Jesus and His healing touch in a busy place. They, too, wanted to do whatever they could to ensure that people were taken care of. My mom and dad did not brag or flaunt their actions but, on occasion, would tell me and my siblings what they did as examples of integrity for us to follow. They were such incredible role models for Judy, Matt, and I. I recall one time when some friends came from the church to visit my parents. This couple was having serious financial difficulties, and my parents had already blessed them with an anonymous gift of money. They came to tell my parents how touched they were to have received this anonymous gift from someone very generous, but they shared that although it helped, it still did not meet their need entirely. My parents, without missing a beat, wrote them another cheque on the spot, never ever indicating that they were the original donors. I never forgot that story, and it was my parents’ desire that this couple never know that they had indeed been blessed twice by them.  Photo by Sai Krishna at Pexels.com Integrity mattersIt is true, as the quote says, that integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching. The truth of the matter is that even when no human is watching, God is always watching. He sees what we do and what we don't do. I want to live my life to make Him proud and to represent Him well. As a Christ follower, I desire to ask myself in various scenarios, “What would Jesus do?” Do I get it spot on each and every time? Of course not. I am only human, of course, but living my life with integrity is how I was raised, and it is the way I want to present myself to the world. I teach this to my students as well, sharing many life lessons and teachable moments on kindness, respect, mutuality, reputation, and integrity. As we move through this busy season, let’s pause and ask ourselves: Am I living in a way that aligns with who I say I am? Integrity is built one small choice at a time. Choose honesty. Choose faithfulness. Choose to be the same person in private that you are in public. Call to Action
Until next time, Dana Copyright: littlelessonslearnedbydana, © 2025
 Photo by NastyaSensei at Pexels.com In church today, we talked about finding peace at Christmas. It was so fitting, as peace is next on the list of the 12 Things That Money Can’t Buy series. Something that really resonated with me was when our pastor explained the difference between a peacekeeper and a peacemaker. As similar as they may sound, they actually are quite different. Let’s take a closer look at both, shall we? Peacekeepers Photo by Sofia Alejandra at Pexels.com People who strive to be peacekeepers are always trying to smooth the waters and keep situations under control. These people aim to keep everyone calm and content, but that is often at the expense of ignoring the true issues. At times it may seem their role is more of a referee, than problem solver. Peacekeepers try to put out fires with Band-Aid solutions, tread softly, and tell themselves that “picking your battles” each time is the best choice. Confrontation is awkward and uncomfortable for peacekeepers, so they prefer to at times do the minimum needed to “keep the peace,” which often includes not bringing up the hard or sensitive issues. While this may work for a brief time, the problem lies in that, often with this type of approach, the issues are still very raw under the surface and do not receive the attention they need. Let’s look at the alternative, the peacemakers. Peacemakers Photo by Timur Weber at Pexels.com Peacemakers are very different from peacekeepers. It has been said that peacekeepers avoid conflict, but peacemakers transform it. For the peacemaker, they realize that things probably have to get worse before they get better, and they are willing to do the work and take that risk. Peacemakers aren’t troublemakers. They are actually very brave. They have realized that peace isn’t the absence of conflict, but instead they know that it is the presence of truth, grace, and resolution. It takes a lot of time and energy to be a peacemaker. It can get messy, uncomfortable, and awkward, but peacemakers keep the end goal in sight, knowing that the hard conversations will pay off in the end. Relationships that are essential to you deserve that type of time and attention to keep them healthy and thriving. Without the qualities of a peacemaker, resentment, bitterness, and anger can set in, and those attributes are toxic to vital relationships. Where do you see yourself? So, would you say that you are a peacekeeper, peacemaker, or a bit of both? Truth be told, I see now that many times when I thought I was doing the right thing, I was really just peacekeeping. No wonder the same issues kept coming up over and over again. This sermon was a real eye-opener for me, and I hope the topics discussed hit home with you as well. Regardless of where you fall on the continuum, the truth of the matter is that really finding peace this season, first and foremost comes from having a relationship with Jesus. I heard a lesson in Sunday School which simplifies it very well: No Jesus – No Peace, or Know Jesus – Know Peace. That is it in a nutshell. Very straightforward indeed. My friends, we don’t know what the future holds, but we know that with Jesus by our side, we can ride the waves together. We will never be alone, and that in itself brings peace. Call to Action
I am wishing you heavenly peace this season and always. Until next time, Dana Copyright: littlelessonslearnedbydana, © 2025
Tags: FindingTruePeace, PeacekeepersVsPeacemakers, ChristmasPeace, FaithAndPeace, ChristianLiving, RelationshipsMatter, PeaceThisSeason, KnowJesusKnowPeace, SpiritualGrowth, HeartLessons, LittleLessonsLearnedbyDana Photo by Elina Fairytale at Pexels.com "Laughter is the best medicine." What is it about a mutual laugh shared between friends or family that can turn around even the darkest of days? Laughter is such a healing balm that bonds all kinds of people and helps them regain perspective, clear their minds, and get them back on track in general. So where do we find these pockets of joy? Listen up, everyone, because I have some great locations for you to look that will surely get you giggling.  Photo by Helena Lopes at Pexels.com Funny FriendsWhen I need a good laugh, I have several friends who meet that need in a big way. These particular friends at times don't even try to be funny, but they get me going with tears of laughter every time. The world needs more of those types of people ASAP. If you have some friends like that, consider yourself blessed. These humorous peeps are not stress-free but have found the value of being able to see the lighter side of things, and for them in many ways, it truly has been their secret to success. I strive to be more like them because it is a truly wonderful way to live your life.  Click here for an excerpt from the book. Funny KidsIf you are new here, you may not know that I have been an elementary school teacher for over 20 years. It is hard to believe that I am two years from retirement, and it will be here before you know it. I have so many funny stories from my years as a teacher that I am compiling them all in a book that is due to be out next year, called Chuckles and Chalk Dust: Stories From the Classroom to Warm Your Heart and Make You Smile. If you are interested in snagging a copy when it is published, please fill out the button below, and I will gladly add you to the waitlist. A funny story that happened this week was tied to a drawing that a student gave me. We had been talking about healthy eating, and he drew me a picture of two beautiful and detailed cakes—one on the back of the paper and one on the front. I commented on how lovely the cakes were, but that I am trying to eat healthy. He said, “No worries. One is 500 calories and the other is 0 calories. Make your choice.” I laughed out loud because he knows that I am trying to eat healthy, so he sure covered all bases.  Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash Funny TV Shows and MoviesTo lighten your heart, a great strategy is to tune into your favourite funny TV shows or movies. My favourite laugh-out-loud show is Everybody Loves Raymond. This show is so relatable, and I am always guaranteed to feel better than I did before pressing play on the remote with this hilarious show. I encourage you to tune into this show or other lighthearted comedic shows or movies. It is so therapeutic to look at the funny side of life as often as possible. I know that this season brings an endless To-Do List, but be sure to pencil in time for laughter. Your soul needs it. Call to action:
Until next time, Here’s to lots of smiles and belly laughs! Dana
Tags: laughter is the best medicine, find the funny, joyful moments, holiday hustle, humor, lighten up, choose joy, daily faith and joy, Little Lessons Learned by Dana, spread joy, Christmas cheer, life lessons, find the good, joy in the journey, simple joys, healing through humor Photo by Nicole Michalou at Pexels.com As we countdown the gifts that money can't buy, I would be remiss if I didn't highlight the gift of friendship. Friendship is the gift that keeps on giving because friends keep us going through the ups and downs of this crazy world of ours each and every day. I have friends in many different settings who are extremely special to me. In this wonderful collection of irreplaceable people are: church friends, workplace friends, new friends and those who fall into the lifelong friends category. One such lifelong friend is Monika. I will admit this is dating myself a bit, but her and I have been friends for fifty years! That is very hard to believe, but when you have a good friend like her, you hold on tight. We really enjoy each other's company and can talk about anything and everything. Recently, she invited my sister and I over for a Hallmark movie night. We wore our Christmas attire, and she prepared some great treats to enjoy—you know, the kind where we don't count calories for one magical evening. You get the point. The evening was so fun and meaningful, and I left smiling with my cup running over with joy. Monika and I have become more intentional lately and have made getting together a priority. We love our coffee dates, walks and shopping trips and have committed to an annual summer girl's getaway. All my best childhood and growing up memories have Monika in them because we were inseparable, to the point that she was deemed my parents' adopted daughter. So glad that she lives close by to make getting together so easy. Her friendship is indeed a wonderful gift to me.  Monika and I on one of our first Christmas seasons together. The recipe for a great friendshipIf you were to make a pot of friendship soup this season, what would you include? I have done this activity with my students, and many essential ingredients come to mind. Here's what would go in my pot. The first ingredient is common interests. It is so easy to visit with people when you share things in common. This is why my church friends have become like family to me. We share so much in common, including our desire to grow closer to Jesus each and every day. I have also met great friends through volunteer experiences, recreational activities, or through working on projects together. The feeling of being in the same boat—and we are all in this together—is a very powerful bonding experience. The second ingredient is kindness. We naturally gravitate towards people who treat us well. A great friend knows you inside and out and loves to extend kind gestures toward you. Whether it is a funny text to make you laugh, a hug when you need it, a word of encouragement, or a well-timed compliment, a good friend is always ready to bestow love and kindness on you in ways that mean the most to you. That is why you enjoy spending time with those people. They bring out the best in you, and you leave feeling so fulfilled after spending time with them.  Photo by KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA at Pexels.com The third ingredient is mutuality. When you have mutuality in a friendship, everyone wins. These friendships consist of having a great balance of being there for each other through thick and thin. When one is down, the other lifts them up. When one needs a listening ear, the other sits in silence, listening without judgment and offers advice when needed. These friends jump in with sleeves rolled up when their help is needed, and they know that you will do the same for them when the time comes. There is never any sense of owing anyone anything. These friends know that when they need you, you will be there “with bells on,” as my mom used to say, and a pot full of coffee. The fourth ingredient is honesty. A true friend will be honest with you about easy and hard topics. They will speak the truth in love and are not afraid to have the difficult conversations with you. They do this because they love and value you so much that if they have a concern, they will let you know. These are the best people to hear from because they know you so well, and you know they truly have your best interests at heart.  Photo by Karola G at Pexel.com The fifth ingredient is trust. Your closest and dearest friends know your heart. They are the keepers of your secrets, heartfelt longings and deepest prayer requests. You can truly be yourself with them. While with others you may need to save face, not with these fine folk. They have seen you at your absolute worst and just love you all the more. My heart is so full as I review my list of precious and dear individuals who I would deem my closest friends. These wonderful people exhibit these qualities and so much more. I am beyond blessed and know that they are an absolutely amazing gift to me not just at Christmas, but truly all year long. Call to Action
Dana Copyright: littlelessonslearnedbydana, © 2025
Tags: FriendshipMatters, MeaningfulFriendships, TrueFriendsAreBlessings, GiftOfFriendship, FriendshipInChrist, ChristianEncouragement, HolidayReflections, 12ThingsMoneyCantBuy, FaithAndFriendship, StrongerTogether, FriendshipGoals, ChristianBlog, LifeGivingRelationships, EncouragementForWomen, HeartfeltConnections, Christmas Photo by Nicole Michalou at Pexels.com "When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around. " ~ Willie Nelson A grateful heart goes a long way, especially at Christmas. It is easy to feel so overwhelmed with the season's to-do list that taking the time to be thankful can be overlooked. When you look around your table, who do you see? Be thankful for the people you get to do life with and cherish them. No future Christmases are guaranteed with anyone, so let's make this one amazing for you and all the special people in your life. So, how do we do that exactly? Let's dive right in, shall we?  Photo by RDNE Stock project at Pexels.com Don't visit the complaint departmentGrowing up, whenever we started to complain or bicker endlessly—about home, life, or anything really—my mom would look at us and say, half-joking but half-serious, "Excuse me… is this the complaint department?" It always broke the tension and made us all laugh. It was also a great strategy to help us change our perspective and realize that an ungrateful heart truly gets you nowhere. Truth be told, Christmas has a way of somehow magnifying everything—our joy, yes, but also our stress, our busyness, and the parts of life that can feel uncomfortable or heavy. It’s no wonder we sometimes slip so easily into “complaint department” mode without even realizing it or wanting to. I’m understanding more and more that complaining can be a sign of something much deeper: tired hearts, stretched schedules, or grief that sneaks up on us in unexpected ways. That’s why gratitude matters so much, especially now. It doesn’t erase the hard things, but it gently redirects our focus so we don’t get stuck there. It offers us a way out, a way forward, a way to breathe again. One of my favourite songs recently is by Seph Schlueter called Counting My Blessings. It is such a great reminder to focus on the good in life, not the bad. There is always something to be grateful for, even if it is the fact that you made it through another day. Having the right perspective can really be a game changer.  Photo by KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA at Pexels.com Focus more on the gratitude list, than the Christmas list All gratitude counts. You do not have to feel totally in the holiday spirit to be grateful. Everyone is different, and that is perfectly ok. Some people are so grateful to spend time with friends and family this season, while others are most thankful if they spend Christmas alone. All gratitude is good for the soul. I heard a quote that said, what we often complain about is what others only dream of. That one really spoke to me. We often miss the mark at Christmas and fail to see what really matters. I don't want to miss that mark this year. How about you? You may be the type of person who waits for Christmas all year with excitement and anticipation. Perhaps you are the opposite and you have a heavy or broken heart this Christmas. You may, in all honesty, wish that you could erase Christmas from the calendar altogether. I have met and chatted with many people in that category and I do understand. Wherever you find yourself on the spectrum, having a gratitude attitude in your toolbox will help to carry you through the holidays and reap great benefits in the long run. If you are wondering where to start to incorporate more gratitude into your holiday season and daily routine, here are some suggestions. Call to Action:
Until next time, Dana Copyright: littlelessonslearnedbydana, © 2025
Tags: Christmas, Thankfulness, Meaningful holidays, Christmas mindset, Stop complaining, Positive attitude, Count your blessings, Gratitude, Thankful Heart, Attitude of Gratitude, Holiday Gratitude, Christmas Spirit, Season of Giving, Simple Joys, Mindful Christmas, Mindful Living, Positive Vibes, Self Care Season, Mental Wellness, Peaceful Mind, Life Lessons, Daily Inspiration, Heartfelt Moments, Reflect and Recharge, Joyful Living Photo by Mai In May at Pexels.com "Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas." ~ Peg Braken The hectic holiday season is upon us, and there is so much hustle and bustle all around. There are cookies to bake, holiday feasts to prepare, trees to decorate, gifts to buy and wrap, and endless festive parties and events to schedule and attend. Sometimes it feels like we can barely catch a breath. This season can really leave a person feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, yet despite all this, it is so important to remember what should be our priorities. Don't become so busy running around that you forget to enjoy who and what is right in front of you. This blog highlights the gift of time and why your presence is truly more important than your presents.  Photo by Little Lessons Learned by Dana The Power of a Few Minutes of TimeI received a special treasure this week in the form of a handmade thank you card. It was from an absolutely precious former student. It was so unexpected and appreciated. What really got my attention was what she said in her card. She wrote "thank you for spending time with me and always giving me hugs." This little sweetheart was in my class last year. Every day she still comes to see me for multiple hugs, and she finds me on yard duty, holds my hand, and visits with me. It is just a few minutes at a time, but very meaningful for both of us. We enjoy each other's company, and she is always a breath of fresh air in my day. As an aside to this sweet little story, her teacher this year asked if she gave me a thank you card, and she replied yes. Her teacher then said, "You filled her bucket today." They had been reading about how being kind is like filling up someone's invisible bucket, based on the best-selling book Have You Filled a Bucket Today? The student replied, "I fill her bucket every day." I completely agree!  My Mom on her last Christmas shared with us. A Christmas I Didn't Know to TreasureThe above picture is of my irreplaceable Mom on her last Christmas with us. It was in 2020. The interesting thing to ponder is although my Mom has passed away, she died in 2022. How could we have known that just a few brief months after this very happy Christmas photo was taken, my outgoing, people-loving, gregarious Mom would fall into deep debilitating depression that would steal her joy for the few Christmases that she had left. To think we almost didn't get together that year is unbelievable. It was Covid 19 time and the government was advising no gatherings even despite that it was Christmas. Thank God we did anyways and had that priceless time to treasure. What I wouldn't give for even 5 more minutes with her to hug her and chat with her. Losing her was one of the biggest heartbreaks of my life and it really brought home for me even more how spending time with the important people in your life is so very essential. We need to do it now.  Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash Everyone is busy. Make the time.Can I make a confession? It really bothers me when people, (myself included) get caught up in the "I'm just so busy" trap. We should never be too busy to spend time with those who are important to us and we need to learn to put less urgent matters on the backburner from time to time. My friend Stacie and I got together for a long-overdue coffee date last week. We had been needing to catch up for weeks and kept saying, "Let's get together." We realized we needed to be more intentional about getting our visit on the calendar. You see, the "let's have coffee sometime" phrase does not cut it, my friend. Without getting a date scheduled, it most likely will not happen. Our visit, due to other commitments, was just over an hour, yet we covered so much ground and were able to reconnect and have a very much needed meaningful conversation. I left feeling encouraged and edified and was so grateful to have had that time with her, even if it was way too brief. It still mattered and blessed us both.  Photo by paje victoria on Unsplash Intentional HolidaysThis holiday season, remember that time is a very valuable commodity. We don't know how much we have, but any we give to others is absolutely priceless. Call to Action
Until next time, Dana P.S. If you are missing time with someone this holiday season because you are grieving, I understand. You are having a Different Kind of Christmas. Take some time to reflect and remember the happy moments. Don't forget all those around you that you do still have. Copyright: littlelessonslearnedbydana, © 2025
Tags: gift of time, time well spent, meaningful moments, family time, quality time, togetherness, cherish every moment, Christmas spirit, holiday joy, mindful moments, heartfelt holidays, intentional livingAs we head into the holiday season, I am sharing a new blog series called 12 Things Money Can’t Buy: A Christmas Countdown of What Truly Matters. The first gift I share with you is kindness.  Photo by Julia Filirovska at Pexels.com Kindness: The gift that costs nothing but changes everything. It seems unbelievable that the Christmas season is almost here once again. The year seemed to fly by, and here we are heading into the holidays. For some, it brings excitement and joy, yet for others it can only enhance the loneliness and discouragement they are already experiencing on a daily basis. At this time of year, we talk of Christmas wish lists and often are scurrying around trying to find the perfect gift for everyone on our list. One gift that is perfect for everyone is the gift of kindness. Something so simple, yet so valuable all at the same time. Let's examine this for a moment, unwrap this precious treasure, and see why kindness is needed now more than ever.  Photo by Tara Winstead at Pexels.com Times are toughChristmas comes at the end of the calendar year, and for many it has been a hard and difficult year. Depression and anxiety seem to be commonplace these days. Extending a bit more grace, generosity, and kindness is key at this time of year. The holidays have been known to be especially challenging for those who have experienced hardships throughout the year, as they could be struggling financially, missing a loved one, or in a situation they never anticipated. These people need someone to lift their spirits and help them see that there is still joy to be found in the midst of sadness. We are often unaware of what people have been going through, and by each of us deciding to be a bit more gracious, it can truly make a powerful difference. Positivity is so refreshing Photo by Andrea Piacquadio at Pexels.com There is so much negativity in our world. When you choose to break that trend and be a positive voice in the crowd, people will be drawn to you and feel encouraged and inspired. They will be blessed by your presence and your optimistic views on things. You bring hope and healing to others by helping them to see that there is still good in this world, demonstrated through your positive perspective and sincere effort to be kind. A little means a lot Photo by Prathyusha Mettupalle at Pexels.com I love the expression throw kindness around like confetti. Seriously, people, sprinkle that stuff everywhere. It will be soaked up like water in the desert with so many positive benefits for both you and the recipient of your warmth and goodwill. Imagine how different our world would be if we all decided that every day we would focus on being extra kind to at least one person each day. Find some people and sprinkle away! Perhaps you let them ahead of you in the coffee line, pay for their order in the drive-thru, shovel their driveway, offer to babysit so they can get a much-needed break, or drop off some Christmas cookies to them. Don’t hesitate. Do it. What we may think is small can be so meaningful in another’s eyes. Not only that, but your small, heartfelt gesture could be what makes their entire Christmas this year. Let’s remember how valuable and needed kindness is these days and put it on our priority list as we finish off this year and head into the next. Call to Action:
When we focus on kindness, the world becomes a more gentle, positive, and inspiring place to live for each and every one of us. Until next time, Dana Copyright: littlelessonslearnedbydana, © 2025
Tags: Christmas kindness, Christmas inspiration, meaningful Christmas, gifts money can’t buy, holiday reflections, Christmas blog series, acts of kindness, Christmas encouragement, faith and inspiration, Christmas countdown, heartwarming Christmas stories, seasonal reflections Photo by Emma Bauso at Pexels.com “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times and always with the same person.” Mignon McLaughlin My husband Phil and I celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary this year. It is hard to believe, as the time has really flown by! I remember how I first met Phil. I was on summer break from university, desperate for a job and feeling—let’s just say—very lonely. "Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places" could have been my theme song at that time, sadly, I guess. I asked my mom to approach friends of ours, the Romualdi family, to see if I could get a job at their grocery store for the summer. Unfortunately, they did not need summer help, but I was offered—at first, much to my dismay—the job of their housekeeper. My initial reaction was an absolute “no,” as this was not the type of work I had in mind. After some convincing, my mom got me to give it a try, as she knew the family well and knew that it would be a very positive and pleasant experience with Mrs. Romualdi working right alongside me. Well, it did end up being a great job. They had a gorgeous home on the lake, and working alongside Mrs. Romualdi, I grew to appreciate and love her dearly. We took many breaks, had great, long chats, and she ALWAYS gave me the more pleasant housekeeping duties—as this is just the type of person she was. Well, to make a long story short, her son Phil came up often in our many conversations, and one day he came home for lunch while I was working. I guess the rest is history. We hit it off right away. Not only was he incredibly handsome, but he had a wisdom beyond his years, a strong desire to settle down, and a very sweet and sensitive nature I was immediately drawn to. It was like that feeling of I have known you all my life, “yet where have you been all my life?” all at the same time! Phil was such a breath of fresh air. He lived right down the street from me, but it took me what seemed like an eternity to find him. I am so glad I did, and I know that it was clearly God’s timing and plan for us to meet and marry.  Photo by HT Photography So this brings me to where I am today, reflecting on 33 years of marriage. We have sure had our ups and downs. I am not an authority on what makes a marriage thrive. Our marriage is not perfect, but in 33 years of marriage, I have certainly learned a thing or two. Some lessons came easy, and others were learned the hard way. Nonetheless, here are my tips on what I have learned throughout the years that helped us to keep our marriage strong. 1. Love your spouse and remember to prioritize him or her Photo by Little Lessons Learned by Dana I have always felt loved and valued by Phil. He encourages me daily through his words and actions. He is my biggest fan. Besides writing, I love to sing. He has sat through more concerts of mine than I can count and will clap with gusto, like he has never heard that song before each time. That is something I have always appreciated. Phil and I are intentional with our time and put dates on the calendar for just the two of us. Our adult children are still at home at this time. We are blessed to have them, but must ensure that we get time for just the two of us as well. That is healthy and necessary for any marriage to thrive. 2. Strive to bring out the best in each other Photo by: Little Lessons Learned by Dana I have often told Phil that he is the wind beneath my wings, and I really feel that. Phil and I are a great team. In some ways, we are quite opposite, but I think that is why our marriage works. Phil has helped me grow in areas I struggle and has taught me many things, and I feel that I have done the same for him. It was Phil’s idea that I become a teacher, which I am today. It was not of interest to me originally, as I am a social worker, and at the time I was quite content working at our local library. Phil kept revisiting that notion of me teaching, seeing the potential I could have to use my skill set and really help kids in a powerful and meaningful way. His encouragement and belief in me gave me the courage to leave a profession I enjoyed and head off to teacher’s college on a new and uncertain path. This has been a very positive move for me, and I know I would not be where I am today without Phil’s support. Listen to each other's heart and be that sounding board and encourager that is needed. It makes such a difference for your relationship. This world is hard enough already. Be that soft place to land for each other. 3. Stick together through the tough times Photo by Little Lessons Learned by Dana We have been through many challenges as a couple, like our family business, Phil’s Leamington Foods, being forced to close; several miscarriages; unemployment; deaths in the family of close loved ones; and many career changes. It has not been easy, but through it all, with God at the center of our relationship, we have made it through. Phil has listened to me endlessly talk about heartaches, stressful situations, uncertain scenarios, and depressing topics. Through our struggles, we have offered each other a listening ear, good advice, a kick in the pants if needed, while providing reassurance that neither of us is going anywhere—no matter what we go through. A true test of marriage is how it stands during the tough times, and it is these tough times that can really make your marriage stronger if you allow it. 4. Have the deep conversations Photo by Little Lessons Learned by Dana Sometimes certain topics can feel awkward in your marriage to address, but nothing good comes from avoiding these conversations. There have been many times when both Phil and I had to share our hearts, knowing it would initially hurt the other, but still believing it was necessary. Without honesty, resentment can grow. Without honesty, misunderstanding can exist. Without honesty, a dangerous wedge can begin to grow in your relationship. You do not want these things to happen in your marriage. This is why it is so healthy to clear the air and know what is on each other's heart to keep your relationship moving forward. 5. Keep God at the center of your relationship Photo by Little Lessons Learned by Dana This simple statement will help you immensely. We have built our marriage on our relationship with God. He is at the center of all we do individually and as a couple. Phil and I have devotions together, attend church together, and pray with and for each other daily. When a challenge comes up in our lives, we ask God to give us strength and wisdom to handle things in a way that honours Him. Life is hard, and every marriage can have highs and lows. Knowing that our marriage is built on the firm foundation of Christ has brought us such hope and reassurance through the years. If this is not a part of your marriage at present, I urge you to invite God into your relationship and see what happens. You will be so very glad you did, I can assure you. You then realize that you are no longer alone as a couple, but instead have every issue covered by the Lord Almighty. How empowering is that? Every marriage has room for improvement, including mine. Consider this call to action. Call to Action
Until next time, Dana Copyright: littlelessonslearnedbydana, © 2025
Tags: marriage, marriage enrichment, 5 love languages, date your spouse, pray together as a couple, date nights, communication, Christian marriage, honesty, perseverance, marriage advice, relationship tips, how to strengthen your marriage, Christian marriage tips, long-lasting marriage, marriage lessons Photo by w.r_t2 at Pexels.com "You can't pour from an empty cup." Last week I had myself "a day" at work. It was certainly not my best day, nor a very productive one. With Halloween at the end of the week, you can just imagine that getting 17 students to settle in and get their work done was next to impossible. There was a silly energy in the air, and their attention was on anything else than the lessons I had prepared. At the end of the day I found myself extremely exhausted and frazzled thinking "What is even happening today?" I was a bit beside myself and needed something to help me in my time of need, but what I needed was the dilemma. Thinking through some options, it finally hit me! I remembered something that was sure to save the day. It had been there all along. It had been sitting in my teaching bag literally for two months: my emergency chocolate bar. You see, on the first day of school I was given my favourite chocolate bar, a Twix bar, by my amazing vice principal to welcome me back. Trying to make healthy choices, I had decided to save it for another time, or a day such as this. Frantically I searched for that bad boy in my huge tote bag, amongst the notebooks, papers, pens and stickers. Like a dog digging up a long lost bone, I was determined to find it. I was on a mission. My eyes lit up realizing my day was about to get so much better when I finally spotted that sweet sensation. There it was! My Twix bar. Sure it was flat as a pancake, a bit worse for wear, and had clearly seen better days, but at this point none of that mattered to me. I had not had chocolate in so long. It was not on my eating plan, but today I made an exception. I needed it. I had no regrets. That little chocolate bar lifted my spirits in a big way. Enjoying the Twix bar, as simple as it may seem helped me see that I had the power to put something positive in my day. It was a choice and a reminder that often small joys have a big impact on developing a more optimistic perspective. Self care is not selfish Photo by Little Lessons Learned by Dana Enjoying the Twix bar without guilt represents for me an act of self care. I need to take care of myself to keep my spirits up and keep on going day after day. There is too many people counting on me to not make myself a priority. If I am not at my best, it will affect a lot of people so I must strive to do what I need to do to get in the right headspace and fill my own tank. Exercise, quiet time, naps, coffee in copious amounts, prayer and Bible reading, a night out, a great chat with a friend, or watching a favourite funny movie or TV show are activities I enjoy to take care of little old Me, Myself and I. I have even starting giving myself a high-five each morning inspired by Mel Robbins’ High 5 Habit because I need to be my own cheerleader more. I am an amazing person, loved by God put on this earth with a calling and distinct purpose and I am kind of a big deal.  Photo by Sora Shimazaki at Pexels.com Fill er up!All of the above statements are so true for you as well. You are such an incredible and special person. The world is honestly a better place simply because YOU exist. What fills your cup? Do more of that, please — and the more often, the better. Fill that cup to overflowing. The world needs you — and respectfully, not the stressed-out, maxed-out version of you. Instead, this world needs the best version of you, and you simply cannot offer that if you are depleted and empty. Call to action
Until next time friends, Take care of yourself and I really mean that! Dana Copyright: littlelessonslearnedbydana, © 2025 A final thought and update: I told my students about my emergency chocolate bar episode and they found it quite funny and in case you are wondering even with Halloween looming my week did indeed get much, much better. Authors note: ~ The High 5 Habit: Take Control of Your Life By One Simple Habit by Mel Robbins is the inspiration behind my new high-five habit.
Tags: self care, fill your tank, the high 5 habit, mel robbins, take care of yourself, teacher self-care, emotional burnout, how to recharge as a teacher, self-care for educators, mental health for teachers, small joys in teaching, faith and wellness, the High 5 Habit, Mel Robbins inspiration |
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